What Is The UGLY TRUTH, Anyway?

I admit I have borrowed this "Ugly Truth" phrase from a recent romantic comedy movie that I have not yet seen. I watched the movie trailers with interest. I think every woman has her own idea about what it is that men are really like, and what they like and look for in a woman.

My purpose though has always been to empower women to be true to SELF and to do what feels good,whatever is fulfilling,satisfying to them.
Besides these myths,rules, standards go on ad nauseum ... and really continue to proliferate through the media circus on the tabloids at the check out counter in grocery stores.

We really do need to sort some of this stuff through and get our thinking straight.

That said, in my own personal experience, I have come to believe some of the gender urban myths or truths, depending on how you look at it, that were set forth in this movie and whispered from mother to daughter, sister to sister, friend to friend through out history.

Let's begin with the most obvious:

1) Men like women whose body type appeals to them.

Now most people would say that you have to be thinner to appear pleasing to a man.
However, I have seen as you have, I am sure, men who are with heavier women whose beauty is more Botticelli then Mondrian.
Fuller figures sometimes turn a man on.
I have to admit when a man points out my larger bum I am not altogether flattered as I have been brainwashed that no one would love me unless I was thin and fit. My mother often pointed out that my TWIGGY-like figure in my 20's was a good thing though the boys in my neighborhood often told me to eat more pasta so they would have something to hold on to.

I can't say that I have ever been happy with the way I look. For the most part I think that some days I look OK, other days I'm hopelessly unattractive, and some days I believe, if I just exude confidence, and keep smiling, and flirt in the way I have learned to love to flirt, I can go home with just about any one... well, especially if he has had a drink or two.

Recently a physical trainer who was very fit,told me he liked my big boobs and big butt. I'm not
sure he was all that sincere, but I have found that Black men, and some Italian men seem to appreciate my thickness and ample features.
In my defense I can honestly say that once I am body to body with a man, he is not disappointed. I just happen to enjoy sex, but of course that's one of the reasons I chose to write this blog.

Point is: Don't worry about your size!. There are men out there who will want you. Not every man wants a TROPHY.
But the Ugly Truth Is that sometimes you will not always be the desired body shape of the man YOU are attracted to.

Let him go.

There is someone else waiting for YOU just the way YOU are.

Oh yeah and as far as the waist to hip ratio and golden formula for symmetrical facial features,,, these are proven facts through varying cultures... Fortunately though not too many perfect ratios and symmetrical features exist, and as far as I have heard most world cultures are all still reproducing. SO no need for concern.

2)Men like longer hair ... so they have something to grab on to. ...eh hem...
Yeah I want something I can grab too, and have settled just a few times for a deficit,,, and I'm not talking about hair.!

I do think that most men if surveyed would prefer a shoulder length or longer hairdo... but then so would they prefer or at least as proven over and over, stop to assist a blond and/or a redhead over a brunette. It is what it is.

I am a brunette. I did go blond once, much to my daughters' chagrin and looking back at the pictures I was a bit brash looking,but I did get a lot more attention as a blond and I did have more fun.

Now, with a best friend who is a natural redhead, I often endure the "overlook" as men walk over me without notice to get to her. She is in all ways lovely, and is more petite then myself, also a plus to men. To be quite frank, she, being from the Midwest and, myself,from New York City the contrast in personalities is stark. She seems almost always nice, and sometimes overly polite, where I, in true New York City fashion, tell it like I see it, and don't take any shit without giving it right back.

But back to the subject of hair, length and color these factors do seem to attract men but does that keep a man?
There are men who get turned on by the "butch" look, the Demi More in GI Jane image.

So once again I have to advise... Do to your hair in whatever way it makes YOU feel more attractive.

If purple hair shaved on one side is your gig, then go there. Some guy is looking just for you.

3) Men prefer women who wear heels with polished toes and the higher the heels the better.Some prefer closed toes, others prefer the sassy, strappy sandal type.
Stripper shoes, with seven inch clear heels, are,of course, erotica at its best to a man.

Sorry but I do believe there is no arguing this one.
Even shorter men, who seem to always have some sort of "issues" ..Napoleon or otherwise... like heels.

Wear only heels to bed, and a man will be putty in your hands... OOPS! Bad analogy not putty!! ... rock hard in your hands,,, and wherever else you put it.

4) And on the subject of low cut tops and ample breasts: Whatever you've got show them off a bit, subtly or overtly men are just freaking fascinated with BOOBS, TITS... whatever else they might call them... they are ridiculous about it!

A man will talk to your chest, suckle at it for hours, and have the need to touch and fondle it whenever there is no one looking or even sometimes when someone is. It is just the most inexplicable thing to me that men find this part of a woman's anatomy so fascinating.
Having worked in an AIDS clinic with gay patients and co workers I can tell you that even gay men will admire ( if from a distance) a woman's breasts.
Cross dressers and transvestites spend hours on choosing the appropriate undergarments to make their breasts look supple and perky.

And so it is... Whether small or large,,, and I mean small and I mean LARGE, men just can't seem to get enough of boobs..even if they proclaim themselves to be "ass" men.

Nope, in my opinion, they are lookin' and they are talkin' and they are lookin' again...
I have more then once reminded a man that my eyes were on my face so that they would stop staring at my chest. But I do love it... Why?

Before my children were born, I was a a smaller woman, I was thin and I was a 32 A.
Although I did not breast feed, my size grew during pregnancy and never went down. With my first daughter I became a 34 C and with my second a 36 DD which then went back to a 36D.
I can tell you that I walked around in NYC in the winter with my coat open when I realized the attention this new growth of my chest was getting from male friends and total strangers alike.

My second husband talked of my breasts as if they had their own persona.
And quite honestly the attention they received from him had me cum every time without penetration or other foreplay. Sensitive nipples are a plus and any man I have spent any time with has come to learn, some really astute men rather quickly, that if you touch my left nipple I am "yours", and I am lovin' it.! ;-)

So wear that cleavage... push those puppies up,,, make "the girls" happy and you will be happy too if you want any man's attention.

Now on this issue I cannot speak for lesbians. My lesbian daughter hasn't weighed in on this,but my lesbian friends seem, too,to appreciate the beautiful roundness of a woman's figure.

Let's face it... unless "DAVID"like, the male body is nowhere near as pleasing to look at as a woman's body. The "god like" man may have wash board abs,V physique, chiseled face,tight buns,muscular arms and legs with a great penis, and that certainly is a GIFT.!
But the average man's body has a way to go before it meets the pleasantry of the average woman's body.

If there is a God and if he made Adam and Eve, he saved perfection for the second of his creations. Even God needed to practice a bit first before getting out the better version.

To be continued....