What Is The UGLY TRUTH, Anyway? Cont'd

So what is the Ugly Truth anyway?
All those dating myths and rules,the movies and books are unrelenting and I have chosen to continue my exploration into this dilemma.

If you have not read my first entry on this topic, (under the same title Advice 1-4), no matter really. You can go back and read it now or later.
If you are out there in the dating/ social scene it might be helpful to you or perhaps just a bit entertaining.

Like all women I think each day I feel a little differently about things and how I want to present myself to the opposite sex both in the work place and in social situations.

I have to say that one of the most important pieces of advice I can give is:

5) Don't be the wall flower.
Though the quiet wall flower type will attract some men, it just isn't any fun being the quiet one in the corner at the party, is it?

I don't know if I was born with it, sometimes I think that I was, but I have always been a little flirty at least.Not just in the way I dress though that is inevitably a part of it, but also in my demeanor.

Now, don't get me wrong, I did go through many years of uncomfortable awkward shyness. Until finally I was encouraged to come out of my shell by female friends and male friends alike who felt that I was in some ways cute and attractive. I do also have to give credit to my older brother who adored me and encouraged me to join in his parties putting me in the center of the circle of attention as he introduced me as both smart and beautiful.
Amazingly people believed him though I did not.

And so it went that I changed from the shy,inhibited girl to the fun, flirty person I perceive myself to be today.
WHY NOT !? ;-)

When you look around there are certainly ALWAYS women who are more attractive and there are men who appear too delicious to approach. But talk to some of these people and you will find that they are equally as insecure as you are and lovely wonderful people or in some cases that these people are in some ways all about their looks.

All in all no matter how you "think" you look, step forward out of the shadows and make yourself noticeable. SMILE... Listen and speak up when you feel so inclined.

Does this all sound waaaaay toooo oversimplified ???

Think again. Some people think that just by showing up in a crowd they will be swept off their feet by their perfect mate.
And, oh,yes, just go out to have a good time NOT with the intent to meet a mate.

Always, always BE A LITTLE FLIRTY... Talk to someone, look into his/her eyes, really listen to what he/she saying. Look further then the words into the Soul and their Spirit.

Everyone you meet has a story and more then likely it is a story that you can learn from and/or perhaps relate to. So don't just try to act "Kool."
Talk but not a lot. Listen.
Relax.
Take a BREATH.
Believe that you are UNIQUE, because YOU ARE !
And move into the social scene with a little burst of enthusiasm...
BE SASSY.
Be a little flirty !
But

6) Don't be too sexually aggressive.
We have all seen women in clubs who dress so provocatively that they are half out of their clothes.
Or the women sitting at the bar who hand over their bras and panties to the bartenders who by the way are the "rock stars" of a good club and often the reason women hang around the bar luring customers to buy them one drink after another. It is all part of the business. Get the women to sit at the bar and the men will follow.
The same principal as "If you build it they will come."

And come they do to the women who act provocatively, even overly sexually aggressive. Men who are drawn in will take you home for the night but they will toss you away in no time. So let me clarify... If you are looking for that one night of fun and frolic, go for it. But if you are going out to have a good time and to meet people of like mind and Spirit, then dress stylishly, dress comfortably for you whatever that is, dress in something that makes you feel confident and outgoing. Show a little skin,but be careful how much you give.

Put your hand on his or her arm or knee but keep it off her breast, or his crotch!

Rejection at this point is uncomfortable for both of you.
Sooner or later there will be a night when you are either the giver or receiver of this type of behavior. At this point you will sometime later either laugh about it or be embarrassed by it or perhaps both.

Just remember, sexual aggression is definitely appropriate in the right place and at the right time. But as the line goes: "GET A ROOM" if you are over come with lust and desire in a public place. PDA's (Public displays of affection) can be HOT... but don't over do it, making everyone else around you uncomfortable.

7) Men love being funny and enjoy when you laugh at their jokes,but women should not be as funny or laugh too loudly.

OK, OK, I hate to admit this one is, in my experience, very true because it goes back to cave man days I think, and seems very chauvinistic. The thing is though I have found it to be true. Men seem to prefer being the limelight. In fact they are somewhat threatened by the woman getting all the attention. Not at first perhaps but as time goes by the funnier, better looking, better dressed woman becomes a drain on the male ego. Men have to have the WOW factor perpetuated in their relationships.(More on the 'WOW' Factor later.) They have to know that they are best, and this includes the funniest!
So laugh at his jokes. Laugh long and hard but not too, too loud. When others are around allow the man to be the center of attention and he will find you all the more attractive for it.

Here's another antiquated piece of advice that is obviously not subscribed to by the Governor of California and his wife.

8) If you have to talk about politics keep an open mind and keep your mouth shut.

Disagreeing politically with someone always seems to get heated and uncomfortable in just a short period of time and ruins any connection between the two of you off track.
Now, to be clear, I am not saying that you should not have a different point of view, I am merely saying don't flaunt it.

Since most men are highly competitive in nature they see argumentative discussions not as an exchange of ideas but as a competitive sport.Since they have a very strong NEED to win in order to feel good about themselves they poise themselves strategically in political and sometimes religious discussions and losing such a situation, pinning his back to the wall, or yours, will make things extremely uncomfortable.

I once spent a great time and night with a very attractive man with whom the chemistry was intense... until I made the mistake of bringing up a presidential candidate whom he opposed. Not only did I sense that his ego was deflated but any further foreplay went limp, so to speak. ;-)

Enjoy the company of a man with opposing political views, but never, never have THAT conversation with him. It changes the chemistry completely and depending on the personalities of you and that man, it can totally ruin your relationship.

More on the "WOW" Factor I mentioned above next time
.
In the meantime, Get out there and NJOY !

Time Away

I finally got my laptop a new battery.
Wish I had a new one, but can't do that right now.
If you enjoy my blog perhaps you have the ability to purchase a new APPLE laptop and send it my way ? ;-)
If not, thanks anyway. Will write here again as soon as I get situated in my new digs.

Thanks for your patience while I've been away.