Scorpio: It's All About Sex And Death

SCORPIO : It’s All About Sex and Death

I am a Scorpio. The horoscope sign that had its ruling planet PLUTO “once removed” not long ago. Replaced by Mars, I think,,,not sure..no matter...

I have read and have been told that Scorpios are all about Sex and Death.
It was explained to me that this was not about a literal death, of course, but about the total surrender to LOVING in the sexual act. I had had that and I liked and was relieved by that idea. So was the man I was dating at the time of this revelation. He knew my family history.

My Italian and French background had some dark sides. In my family there had been a few “crazies”,. some closeness with “THE FAMILY” as in THE GODFATHER etc,,,, after all we were Italian...My mother’s family from Naples and my father’s family right off the boat from Sicily. As is “known” in Italian families, people from Naples are warm and wonderful while men, in particular, from Sicily will stab you in the back.It is best to keep knives away from them. And so it was in my family that though we joked about this sometimes, most of the time there were arguments that ended in weeks of punishing silence and among relatives announcements if they had hurt your feelings that they were in fact DEAD to you.
If you are Italian, you are laughing because you understand. If not you are wondering what the hell I am talking about. Yes, it really is a lot like it has been portrayed in the movies. Our home and family was full of tension,anxiety and depressives who either found creative out lets for their dark moods or took it out in resentments and anger or died of things that one could look back at as being stifled emotions that caused the body to implode.

In my life in a matter of ten years I experienced the death of all of my immediate family,my brother,father,sister,mother and also an ex husband.Four years after that decade, the loss of one of the great loves of my life and of my sweet granddaughter,Nia.I am blessed with two beautiful daughters who have both been my comfort,joy and,sometimes,the most accepting people in my life.Acceptance of individual uniqueness is a thread I have tried to weave through the cloth of our little family since my divorce from their father. Acceptance of Self and Love of life was a gift from my brother who died from AIDS in 1990.

Now why do I bother to share all of this on an adult content blog when I have previously aroused your sexual desires, peaked your interests in the dynamics of the social scene, with a little erotica tossed in.

I suppose I share this all with you because some of you know what I have felt because you have felt it too. Perhaps your losses were not the same or so close toge her but you have experienced death and dying.

I offer you my thinking on this ...whether your loss has been through death, broken love affairs,divorce or drifting apart.... the depth of that pain... will, if it has not already, open you up to its opposites to the heights of joy and bliss and if you are at all a sensual being , to the sometimes painful need to be close to another human being sometimes even in a sexual way.

Death,loss, predisposes us to the unconscious emotion that all could be lost..gone in day, a minute.. And so sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes that friendship, that love affair with an almost stranger becomes far more intense and focused.
I believe that all of us ..all of our neurosis stems from two things...1) grief itself, even if we are grieving the loss of a bad thing and moving on to good, and 2)fear of abandonment.
Every human being’s greatest fear hidden in our need to be accepted, desired,needed and loved comes from the fear that some how, some way, some day we will be alone: abandoned.

SO again what does this have to do with this particular blog? : “The Sex Diary of A Boomer Woman.” This is my utmost vulnerability, as it may be yours.
I do not fear my own death. I am a believer in life after death and though my idea of heaven may not be in a bible chapter or verse, I do believe that my Soul continues to exist after this life and that LOVE lives forever even beyond this dimension. I have seen and felt the Spiritual and, yes, I believe.
I do not believe that my sensual / sexual being is in conflict with those thoughts and beliefs.
To the contrary,for every loss I have experienced I believe I have an increased capacity to love. I have an increased capacity to treasure the moments...the gift of the present..I try with desperation sometimes to live the “BE HERE NOW” thing.

Scorpio may be about sex and death. Like all other SIGNS it is about love and life which includes loss... sometimes just letting go of that other person and moving forward to the next gift of loving. I encourage all who I know and I encourage you to truly reach out and touch someone. Whether in the depth of caring and compassion or the playfulness of lustful passion,don’t be afraid to touch. It is so healing. It costs nothing, even in this economy. The bail out may not come in checks and balances but in truly making a difference in someone else’s life. I know I sound trite here equating gifts of compassion to enjoying your sexual side. You might gather from all of this that I am some lost grieving soul who throws herself into relationships one after the other in an effort to justify my sexuality.
Read more of my posts and you will learn more. I,like the rest of you, am multi dimensional and try very hard to divide my life into caring for others in nurturing, compassionate, humanitarian ways and allowing myself the freedom,when I am so inclined,to explore both the intellect and the passions of a man with similar beliefs.

I promise in my next post to be lighter and far more sexual for those of you who clicked here for the first time and read this post first. But ,you see, I promised honesty and openness in this dialogue with you, and I keep my promises.
Of course I am a Scorpio, so accordingly, I may hold grudges for a very long time. And draw you into my web with exquisite cunning.
I will hopefully bring you back for more.
Quite honestly there is so much more to tell, and I have not even begun to get to the really juicy parts of this surprise adventure that has been my life and prompted me to begin my sex diary here.
Far more then I could have ever imagined. Life is GOOD !

ARE MEN TRAINABLE ?

Are Men Trainable ?

Let me begin this with a preface.
This writer years ago, after her first divorce,(I have survived two)had a crush on a handsome bartender who worked at, what we called in New York City, the neighborhood bar. He was delightful,tall, muscular, attentive to his patrons and personable with an appealing crooked smile. He was, probably, even to this day, the best Bartender I have ever met.
Unfortunately he was “taken”. He was seriously dating some dribbly woman with the personality of a dead fish and devoid of a passion for life. Knowing of my obvious adoration for her boy friend she appropriately hated my guts. Well, appropriately for that day and age and time in both of our earthly journeys.
While in a ladies room stall one night I heard her boasting to a friend that she almost had her boyfriend “trained.” She described men much like untamed and ill behaved dogs who needed to be scolded ,punished and rewarded very menially for learning to perform well. She didn’t mean sexually, she meant that men needed to learn to be compliant with the “rules” of behavior of dating.
Now these days there are, as you all well know, all of those books about DATING and RULES... “The Men are from Mars” thing at one point became part of our conversations. But at the time of my ease dropping on this woman’s discussion with her friend, I have to tell you I was appalled. The hairs on the back of neck stood up. MY bartender,,, and NO other man needed any such thing. IF with the RIGHT woman he would be a perfect gentlemen and never need cues, or punishments, or condescending reward charts.
I am still apprehensive when I see all the “how to” date books on the market ,,,the relationship issue stuff that gives explanation and direction then paragraphs a certain man or woman and “their story” to prove the point. Some of these written by the all knowing author.... many of whom,like myself , have been married and divorced , or are headed there, or are single after never maintaining any lengthy meaningful relationships.
Please note I do not exclude myself from this group of “advisers” and remind all of you that I am not Dear Abby and though I do have experience in counseling, I am certainly no expert in all of this relationship enigma stuff. I don’t have all of the answers any more then you do. I am purely an observer,one with years of dating experience, but one with guided and misguided misjudgments. I was once, and I suppose always will be in my truest nature a classic CODEPENDENT.
I just don’t live that life style anymore. It became seriously uncomfortable for me. And once you have stepped back from it and had some work done...psychological not cosmetic ..you simply can’t go back to the insanity of it all.
But, back to men and training .
It all came up because this weekend I met a man who appeared to be close to exquisite at least through my Absolut and tonic goggles. After some conversation, he asked and I gave him my number, a kiss or two and encouraged him to call me.
Then it began; First that late night phone call...just reaffirming the spark of interest. Then the text messages of various levels of brevity and maturity. Things like... “I can’t wait to see you.” And when I ignored that text, another from him,” It’s W, I’m fun.”
Then there was the one , "I am at “meat market”club have a flat. Come pick me up.”
HUH ?!!! OMG ! I barely knew this man ... independent,,, he had said,divorced and had two kids,new to the area.... and he had resorted already to avoiding phone conversations,used texting in terms that were juvenile. The ploy about the flat tire was my favorite but there were others.
If you are a guy reading this, please remember ALWAYS that asking a woman to come save you from a flat tire just isn’t at all appealing. It screams spoiled immature idiot!

Well having discussed these amusing text quips with my best friend, and a follow up conversation with this handsome god,that suggested he might have a brain somewhere and just be socially inept, she declared... “Oh well, perhaps he is trainable.” And so the can of worms was opened. The land of the lost man boy was revisited. Should I really bother to meet this guy for even a coffee or should I just chalk him up to Absolut and tonic goggles...that altered state of mind thing.?
He had been persistent in calling when he finally realized I was going to ignore his stupid text messages and attempts to lure me to save him. When the conversation about getting together came down to an obvious pitch for a booty call, and I called him on it. “Is this a BOOTY call?” And after a disconnect ( his cell phone dropping the call, he said) after an hour,he called back.He quickly recanted and offered drinks and perhaps a few appetizers..maybe even dinner.
I have finally learned over the years and it has been many years, to say out loud what I am thinking, though not always in the phrasing that runs through my mind. I was admittedly an emotionally slow learner early on in dating life. I was quiet, and shy and even soft spoken. Thus the direct comment to him re: the booty call.
In my thirties,I could be HAD with looks and charm and later on in life with promises of vacations and shopping...
But when the concept of TRAINING a man was resurfaced, I could only recall and recoil at the thought.
Oh no.!!! I don’t have the patience or the time or if you think about it,even the RIGHT to train anyone!
You see as much as I am describing in my stories to you my less demure side, my sexually free side, I am a Spiritual being in human form. Yes, I know, that sounds all too out there for some of you, but I truly believe I am. And I stand by my conviction that though I may meet others at times in their lives when their ‘process” and experiences need to include some feelings of entitlement,privilege and chutzpah ( I think, is the Yiddish word for “balls”), I need not try to correct or set straight or teach, or preach, or change them in any way. You see if I don’t like what I am experiencing or feeling that is MY issue and so all I need do is to move on. With heart intact and kindness of Spirit, all I need to do is to back away and allow that person their own process, their own learning experience. I cannot be judgmental, because if I wasn’t there, where they are, once, I might be there some day myself. Who knows!?
So on the question of, “Are men trainable?” I abstain.

I am no longer interested in half people... you know the ones that are going to make me a “whole person.”I already am WHOLE. I am not interested in “my better half” because my better half is within me, though it may sometimes get lost in the day to day happenings of life and emotions. I am not looking to train, nor to have to teach, nor to have to wait for someone to become someone who is more “acceptable” to me. I am comfortable in my own skin and hope to draw to me people, both men and women, who are comfortable in their own skin.
I am by no means perfect. I have faults and flaws just like the next human being.
And, oh yes, I don’t want to BE TRAINED either.!
So go out there and be your self.
Be TRUE to that and you will never have to train anyone... except maybe to remember to wash his hairy stubble out of your bathroom sink and to put the toilet seat down.

I love men just the way they are.
Some I would rather not be in a relationship with, and so I am not. And if and when I meet an equal partner who values me as much as I value him I will bow to him in NAMASTE.... honoring that which is Sacred in him and never ever try to change it,because over and over again I have learned I cannot change anyone but my SELF. And in valuing the uniqueness of each man who comes into my life, I have learned to value my SELF and give my Self permission to be flawed yet still amazingly and uniquely different and beautiful.
“Training” is not in my relationship dictionary.
Kudos to all of you who have learned to love yourselves.
And to walk away softly when whatever it is doesn’t feel right.
Life is Good!

The Bar Kiss

I have admittedly fallen into the routine of going to a usual club meeting the usual suspects.

As previously described it is fun to participate and to observe. There are, on the dance floor, gyrating bodies, some pressed up against others moving to the music,sometime their own not the bands, that generate a sort of energy that extends beyond the dance floor.
We sniff out pheromones that are pleasing and sometimes fall for the lines we so much want to hear. "You have a great smile." "Your eyes are beautiful." "Wow, you are sooo sexy." Sometimes there is intelligent conversation but more often then not, in our altered states of mind, sometimes, from just the energy and the atmosphere alone, and not from the alcohol, we begin to want to be wanted,desired and we allow ourselves consciously or unconsciously to be drawn into the " BAR KISS."
It may be a PDA (Public Display of Affection) at the bar, or around it somewhere, on the dance floor or in a more quiet corner but in any case the person standing or sitting right there suddenly looks so irresistible that we move our bodies and faces closer finally culminating in that first kiss with a stranger. If it is terrible, awkward, we back away casually, continuing the chat. If it is comfortable we are hopeful....and if it works out just about perfectly...if it is HOT with passion we go back for a few more and are drawn in by the fantasy of what may come either later that night or somewhere in time.
I have found myself on a few occasions, I must admit, not very drunk at all .. sometimes,not even buzzed, locking lips with almost total strangers and enjoying every second of it.
There is something about the KISS... in particular the BAR KISS. Planned or spontaneous it is a phenomena of mutual consent that can, if done well, run our thoughts into pleasurable fantasy, or lurid desire, or both, with visions of body parts flying through our heads.
Lip to lip we are almost as vulnerable as naked body to body. We give a bit, a taste of ourselves to obtain a taste. And when it goes well...blood flows making our lips fuller by the nano second, men become erect and women wet. I have experienced it this way. Wetter then I might have imagined without a conscious trigger. As our lips, and tongues too, perhaps, are entwined I am immediately vulnerable to the thought of full out lust. When I was younger it was LOVE but now it is more about the journey of beginning to know,really know another human beings body...how it is pleasured and how it can pleasure.
Just a BAR KISS.
It has all that promise... not perhaps the once lengthy anticipation of the exchange of "feelings of caring" but definitely the exchange of mutual pleasure. If his lips are good and mine are good with his,,, intellect,looks, and anticipation of long term relationships no longer exist because the moment of the BAR KISS in the altered state of mind opens only one door for me now. The lustful passions of two bodies writhing not on the dance floor, but somewhere on my bed or his or wherever else might be convenient for a meeting not so much of the minds, not so much of the promise of future, but the fulfillment of the right now. Do Spirits and Souls collide? Maybe... maybe not. Pleasure and pleasure alone is the need to be fulfilled.
Even in those altered states of mind, nothing ventured, nothing lost, or,is it gained?
My lips are stimulated, tingle and IF the chemistry exists the body complies willingly to a blissful adventure, if not of love, then at least of the most pleasurable lustful passion... all in the simple BAR KISS...
"Hello,stranger." and then more,... OR not... "Good night and Good Bye."
But always, always worth the risk and the lasting memory.
Even the simple Bar Kiss may be just another memory... and there it is... all that matters in life,,, MAKING MEMORIES,,, leave the regrets behind. It is, after all, just a KISS, or is it?

SECRETS / Sex Diary of A Boomer Woman

Occasionally on this blog I will offer up personally written "erotica" for your enjoyment.
Please feel free to click and comment below. It feels better when I know what you are thinking. Thanks ! XO So here is the first,,, just for you.
____________________________________________________________________


SECRETS

I watched you.
You didn't see me, but I watched you.
You were lying there naked caressing yourself with strong purposeful strokes.

Your hand closed tightly.
My lips parted.

You ignored my presence, perhaps, you really didn't notice me.
But I watched you.

I watched you until I saw your chest rise and fall with deep breaths.
I began to hear your muffled, pleasurable moans.
All at once your strength focused in one powerful thrust,
And you lay back lamenting the passion lost.

I would have held you in my mouth but I was too shy.

I would have reveled on your fine tuned musculature with my flailing tongue.

I would have captured your last strength in my mouth and together lost mine without a touch from you.

I could do that.
I would do that
IF I had only had the courage to show you my true self.

But I only had the courage to stand there in the dim light and silently watch you,
My lips parted and wet.

MG 5/20/09

Men Have Them. Women Have Them.

Men Have Them. Women Have Them.
But What Is The Real Truth About “Dry Spells”?

I live in the desert for much of the year so the term “dry spell” is not new to me. Meteorologists predict them much of the time and people are discomforted by the fact that there just aren’t enough cumulous clouds in the sky and no measurable rainfall.
As odd as it sounds,Dry Spells in the desert can get really miserable. There is often what is termed, I believe, virga, moisture or rain that is in the atmosphere but evaporates before it falls to the earth.
I wonder if the earth feels teased by VIRGA..the promise of relief that never quite comes.
Relieve and release is what it is all about. Every growing thing thrives on moisture.

SO what about when it comes to sex? What about THAT kind of DRY SPELL?

Whether we admit it or not we all have them. Male or female there are times in our lives when we just don’t have the opportunity, the energy or the inclination to find a sexual partner if we are not in a relationship where such things are pretty well guaranteed.

I have women friends who say they have gone for as much as a year or more after a divorce or break up without sex. Most men that I know will admit to some dubious periods without sex with another person. They do of course admit to sex with themselves far more often during these periods.
Men, if you know them well enough and sometimes even if you don’t, will tell you how often, how long, and how far the ejaculate will fly when they are immersed in this type of self arousal. Apparently young men often play competitive games at least in their conversations with how far their cum has shot...to their belly, to their chest, to their face, to the ceiling, across the room. Men find this type of talk amusing and it is no less amusing to me when allowed to listen in. What a wonder it all seems to be to them.!...how much, how hard, how far.! Whatever their fantasy they like to WANK, as the British call it. So WANK they do...with visions of starlets, old girlfriends, perfect strangers and probably even sugar plums that dance in their heads.
Now I am not being judgmental here. Let me be clear. Masturbation is a wonderful thing,and from what medical science has learned a very healthy thing. It is stress reducing and involves a cardio workout unlike the treadmill, yet so much more enjoyable. Men masturbate even when in relationships or so I have been told. But when in a DRY SPELL with no female available to them, the process is far more important.
Perhaps we all subscribe to the use it or lose it philosophy.
It is always best to keep the machine well lubricated and running, even while waiting for the actual one on one with a person of choice,,, or rubber doll which ever comes ( cums) first.
I have no doubt, at least judging by my self that women do the same. For those women who use them their Vibrators become their best friends, especially during DRY SPELLS,. These battery operated devices are life savers and are often given names by women who find them friendly and even addictive.... If there are no good possibilities of sex for the evening a women may stay home and choose her vibrator for her evening date.Now many of these sex toys have rather strange names. The one I am most familiar with is the Rabbit. Now, first off let me say that. I am not a Rabbit user myself, though the thing looks like it has all kinds of capabilities. It is large in girth and width and covers a number of erotic zones during its operation, and apparently works in multiple speeds. There are smaller finger thingys that vibrate and things that are just used for insertion when one’s own fingers are the stimulator of choice.
I once had a patient, a gay man in an AIDS clinic report to me that he knew he might die soon because he had found himself falling asleep with his dick in his hand in the process of trying hard to get IT hard and get THERE. And though there are toys for men I think the variety for women is far more reaching and imaginative. Finally something that some man did RIGHT for women. There are never enough ladies room stalls but those nerdy sexual engineers came up with toys with all different shapes and sizes, rotating balls etc. etc. for a woman's erogenous zone pleasure.
Now to be certain DRY SPELLS are still not pleasant things, even with the self help techniques, and modern technology. A woman, like myself who has never gone for more then seven months with out sex since I was 20 .... and only once for that length of time. Sorry but I do have to say that as a BABY BOOMER Woman I pride myself on my sexual prowess. Sure I ‘m sure there is someone out there who would claim I disappointed them at one time or another. But I have to honestly say, I rarely get complaints..in fact the opposite is true. I can still wear a man out and I can still get so wet that it somewhat embarrasses me. If the chemistry is there, relationship or not, if I am having sex, it is good sex.
But during DRY SPELLS I am prone to rely on my own devices. I don’t like vibrators..the noise of that buzzzzzz, the coldness , though I understand some of these little powerhouses even get warm now... No I prefer my own fingers. So when I am without love OR LUST I go for the Be HERE NOW of my fingers. OK, and honestly,very honestly to be clear. I also use the wonder of my shower massager ! This nifty device I have almost named on several occasions. But I have refrained least it interfere with the current fantasy and I call out the wrong name during orgasm. ;-)
Years ago when I first moved to the southwest, I asked the maintenance man in my apartment complex who offered “anything I needed” to install my hand held shower massager first. Of course, as things turned out the Maintenance man was even better then my shower massager but that is another story for another time.
Dry Spells are at some points in life somewhat inevitable. And anyone, male or female who says that they haven’t had at least one in their life time long or short, is lying.

DRY SPELLS may be our gift from the Universe to force us to regroup our thoughts, and emotions, return to simple pleasures for a time and come to appreciate the weight of another persons body on your own and their breath on your skin, and their own attentive techniques to get you to cum all over their “whatever.”
DRY SPELLS can certainly be somewhat frustrating but take heart. Even at my age I have found that they simply do not last and the celebration of gratitude when they are over is always worth the wait.
In the mean time pull out your rabbit, or shower massager, or super designed insertables or just wank away. A new day is dawning , or should I say. “It’s cumming.”
Life is good!

Female/Male Incongruities:Are We Ever On The Same Page?

Female / Male Incongruities: Are We Ever On The Same Page?

I noticed the other night while people watching at a local club. For the most part,women sit tight and wait for men to approach
Women seem to go to a lot of effort to figure out what to wear. How much leg to show, how much breast to show... a peak of nipple or not.? See through, not see through.?Dress way too far over the top...wedding outfit or to the other extreme,”I just threw on whatever was laying around when I woke up and decided to get out tonight.”
The shoes are flats or wedges or more often then not some sort of heel 2 inches, to 4 inch stilettos. (Men gape at these.) You can be pretty under fit and unkempt but if the shoe are high enough men's testosterone starts flowing.
Same thing with the length of a skirt. Long,nah! But short enough to invite the imagination to a hands up and you’ve got “traffic.”.. “Traffic” that unmistakable if subtle line up of drooling men who think they may have a chance for a dance or more and after enough drinks a shot at taking you home to bed.
Social life from my point of view varies from city to city. Phoenix is very different then New York where the awaiting females are never disappointment because after some eye contact you can pretty much be promised an approach, a conversation, if only brief, and even a purchase of a drink. As a single women go to a New York club and sit at the bar and as soon that it is fairly obvious that you are alone, the drinks just keep on coming. Men like to buy women drinks in NYC. It is a statement of bravado, machismo, interest and stand up masculinity. Now in Phoenix, wallets come slowly from the pocket. Women sit and sip , men approach and converse and only on occasion even after long sometimes boring conversations do men even offer to buy you a drink in Phoenix.
Of course in Scottsdale there are the golfers, and the trendy bikers, and the occasional businessmen who don’t mind pulling out a few bucks for a lady’s drink. These men are usually not from CHICAGO where men seem not to want to pay for anything much. Not so of the men from Indiana, and Texas,and the farm fed boys of Iowa and Nebraska who are polite enough to treat a lady to a beverage as they politely enjoy her company.
Stay in a club as it gets later after the buzz of the alcohol is on and beer or wine goggles appear and the recreational drug of the evening has kicked in in the ladies room and where ever men do their drugs,,their cars or somewhere in those hidden back rooms...as the night gets close to CLOSING TIME, the moves begin.
Suddenly persons shift from one side of the club to the other...patio guests move inward, inside guests move outward. Scoping out saunterers around the club slow to stops with great intent and intensity in some cases. Suddenly, “ I’ve been watching you from across the bar all night” is a standard line as personal space gets closed in upon and hands begin to touch backs and shoulders,hands. arms. and thighs in an effort to open up the opportunities.
On any number of occasions men stand as far away as stalking beasts waiting for the first man to move away rejected and pounce down on their now warn down prey. Or as has happened to me personally a man suddenly appears at each ear casually first then , more insistent, subtly then more directly, asking if perhaps I should not drive myself home or that they shouldn’t and that a lift to “my place, or theirs” might be far more sensible and a lot more enjoyable.
Of course these men,like the women already mentioned, are sometimes still dressed in business garb or golf wear, hawaiian shirt or Tommy Bahama, Barney’s or Brooks Brothers, Calvin Klein or Tommy, cowboy or baseball hats, to hats you wonder “ what the hell is that?” They are well groomed, or barely shaven, smell like their own sweat ..(not always a bad thing)... or Calvin Klein and are after a night of drinking a few dances and a long week they are tempting .... or perhaps repulsive but in any case persistent.
Do men try as hard as woman do to be irresistible. No...because they are fortunate enough in their DNA to believe that they truly are.
Where we women see our faults and flaws and in every ladies room in front of the mirror tell each other about this or that man’s lame stories, at the same time bemoaning our” bad hair night”, our dress or jeans that just seem too tight or the late night makeup redos and touch ups with the final sighs of “oh well,what ever, they’ll have to take me as I am.” We women in those Ladies’ rooms GET each other. as we wait in lines, share makeup, combs, handout tissues and tampons and toilet paper, and swear that one day one of us will open a restaurant without a men’s rooms and many more numerous ladies room stalls with locks that work and toilets that never over flow, and sinks and counters with plenty of soap, lotions, hairspray, and mouth mints and above all soft lighted mirrors that reflect back more flatteringly on our hopeful faces.

Someday men will GET US or GET IT that we are not such a mystery, we are merely at different hormonal phases, like the moon ,we change, but are not any less beautiful and appreciate reassurances that are SINCERE ,,, and that we know the difference.

Someday women will believe what is proven,that a man’s brain IS wired differently and he really does NOT always hear when he seems to be listening, that he does have, through no fault of his own, selective memory and that it takes anywhere from 3 hours to 3 days for him to process any words which we as woman may speak in emotional intonation.
It really isn’t their fault. The MRI’s have proven the lesser responses of the male brain.
It does not make men any less intelligent or even less emotional, it simply makes them less quick to comprehend what we feel we have made explicitly clear with one simple phrase, hint, repeated.and repeated again.

We as women really do hate to nag and to have to ask for ..... We would rather you figured us out the first time even if our responses are phrases like , “NOTHING !” and “FINE” .

Mostly we really do want what you want and what we both physiologically NEED.
If you as men need the “wow” factor from us, we need the “wow” factor from you.
It is all about feeling at the end of the day : appreciated, needed, desired and loved.

So when you come up behind us in the middle of night with a boner sticking our backs we will gladly position ourselves for you to approach from behind, or wistfully turn to move our breast closer to your mouth, allow our hand to reach to stroke you, quickly or not so quickly make moves or allow for the penetration of your rock hard cock and move with oneness until the final explicit explosion has taken us beyond whatever small deficits may have occurred between us earlier in the day. We want to cum and cum hard too.
Whether it begins in a club, in a movie, on the living room couch, the kitchen counter or in the bed... we want IT... if you have taken the time to get us really GET US... understand that we are after all just looking for the satisfaction of our most primal needs too.
Let me be who I am. I will let you be who you are and in that standing apart we come together in a oneness of a unique bond that need not be written on paper and filed in a court of law. It is in each moment sacred until it is not anymore and then it is time to move to another gift of loving....unless of course you are fortunate enough to look beyond all limitations and differences, to always support each others dreams and truly want to be together for as long as you live.
“Love does not exist,only demonstrations of LOVE.” Jean Cocteau
Life is good!

Day 2 - In Case You Were Wondering About My FIRST time...

Day 2 - In Case You Were Wondering About My First time....
Do You Remember Yours?

There comes a time in a woman’s life when she begins to feel no matter how good she may look that she should begin to lie about her age. Here in the good ole U.S.A. AGE seems to matter.
. Don’t believe me ?
Post the same profile on a dating site with different ages. Oh yeah and cut out the “smoking” admission.... the hits will double / triple.
So here I am willing to openly say I am a BOOMER AGE woman but not willing to tell you my real age.
But tell you all the rest?
Yes I will.
I am not ashamed or fearful of criticism...despite my Roman Catholic upbringing I have found myself over the years sexually freed. My "confessions" here are of JOY and of compassionate. Truly, when I think about it each sexual encounter involves some form of connection beyond the fires and casualness of LUST. Though lust there certainly is, there is also, if I may be so bold, a sensual pleasure that is derived from barriers broken down and one soul reaching out to another soul. You see,for lack of a better word,,, SEX... is Bliss... not just with MR. RIGHT though it is certainly deeper,perhaps more consuming with LOVE, it is also warm and joyful and , yes as I said, blissful with MR. Right Now.
Now before you go being judgmental and deciding I have no morals at all,,, not that I would care because I am after all happy in my heart and with my own process,,, I want you to know that I have been very much in Love and married twice. I even believe in the sanctity of Marriage. It is somehow no matter how you look at it SACRED.
But I have also had my moments in time when a relationship was not in the cards... or should I say in the bed and yet the pleasure of all you can possibly imagine between two people was all,even more, then I needed for that time.

So what of the men I spoke of before in yesterdays blog?
Each of them a gift! And listed alphabetically in my cell phone or online somewhere or among the numbers on napkins and business cards in my night table drawer..along with the condoms.

I was a virgin until my senior year in college. I was younger then some. older then most I think before losing my virginity. It was, after all, the time of the British Invasion and FREE LOVE.
I was 20. He was incredibly not my first love with whom I had only shared some passionate kisses and a few rather awkward gropings. But he, had been my friend through three years and wouldn’t allow that fourth year to go by without taking it a whole lot further.
So when on Registration Day in College he grabbed my program from my hand and insisted that ALL our classes be together, I felt no desire to argue. He looked different after the absence of that summer. Somehow he looked more mature, more masculine... and,truth be known I think I knew that I was ready to be “taken”. And taken I was. With unlimited cuts from senior year classes we would met momentarily to sit next to one another and he or I, but mostly he would convince me that this class was NOT on our schedule for the day. Once he had convinced me to sleep with him naked in his bed..once we had, the very next time when we decided to “study” together... It was all over. The romance of the days leading up to it were all perfect, the discussions mature and seemingly logical and then there it was complete and utter LUST... his premature ejaculation and me wondering “what the hell was that?” Was that all there was? He explained it this way. “Hey, sometimes you hit a home run, and sometimes you don’t.” As far as I know he had never even actually played baseball but, whatever, the words fell flat,,,very flat... as deflated as his penis and my anticipation.
But we were good friends, and we were young,curious and adventurous. In no time at all we figured it all out and our “studying” became more frequent. Those meetings in classrooms more infrequent...sometimes we only made it to the door of the class. We couldn’t keep our hands off of each other. We learned and we learned very well. And there it was. There is how it all began. The journey had begun. I was not just a sensual being now, I was a SEXUAL being.
So I ask you men out there. Do you remember your first encounter?
Do you remember as I do the excitement, the nervousness, the scents of it, the absolutely incredible uncontrollable anticipation and unexpected titillation of every move? Do your memories go back to the music you played as your fingers , and mouth found their way over that body, you so lusted for that very first time.
Was it at first awkward and perhaps disappointing or was it for you at once perfection?
Was it for you a form of exquisite BLISS that left you hungry for more. Was it true what they say, once you have fed the hungry beast within, the beast wants more?
I found it so. And that was just the very beginning,so many years ago.
Yet I believe there is a language of passion and of love that does not change over time or over generations. We are all seekers of self fulfillment, to be one for even a brief moment with another human being as time freezes in the heat of that passion and is never forgotten.Filed away perhaps in the back of each of our minds, but never really forgotten.
Despite the responsibilities of today and the vows to a new love and lustful partner,we all remember that very first time and the future encounters when we began to learn what was pleasing to our bodies and our souls...what makes us hard and what makes us wet, what makes us want more and becomes the pleasurable torment of our days. Life is good!

Sex Diary of a Boomer woman

Day 1 -Introduction: Do men really think more about sex then Women Do?



I have to ask bluntly.
Am I the only woman, especially a baby boomer age woman, who thinks about sex probably as often as they say a man does?
Ok so I'm not walking around with a huge ‘hard on’ all day long. There are days when sex is not so in the forefront of my mind. But,hey, I am visual too. Bombarded with media images and sometimes just the sight of the guy across the street ( a “hottie” in my eyes), I think about SEX often. Every day,lots of times a day. More often then I get it unfortunately. I think its healthy.Enjoyable.A stress reliever AND necessary to even my menopausal well being.Beyond that I LIKE IT and can't think of a time when I didn't !

I have an advantage. Men seem to find me attractive. I have been told even by a lesbian friend of my daughter that I exude sensuality. I don't know about that. Sometimes I feel horny as hell and other times I pretty much think I look like a slump running into the supermarket for my SILK Soy Milk but then I still catch some guy looking at me. When my hair was blonde I admit I got even more props but now as a light brunette I still get attention. The supermarket manager once carried my bags out to my car personally. The entire walk to the car he was staring at my chest and suggesting that a drink at the local bar would be a good idea ‘cause he was feeling a bit "crazy" that day. OK so it was flattering but I didn't go for it. I had noticed the wedding ring on his finger halfway to the car. Though I have to admit for a brief moment I considered his invitation. Point being there is SEX everywhere when you are feeling it. In real life, or in magazines, television or movies, I'm looking and my mind is ticking. Sometimes my nipples are getting hard, Sometimes I'm even getting a bit wet. I'm easily stimulated Thank God.! I LOVE being a woman and, a straight woman despite the homosexuality of both my siblings. Yep, the only straight kid in a family of three.


So here's the thing. I woke up this morning alone as is usual because I am single. I made it through about the first haze of the morning without a thought of sex. Then Badda Bing there it was! I was thinking about P and Saturday night. Thing is I really like P though we've only recently met. He's all the things I should have wanted when I was younger but was too codependent to identify. He's not bad on looks, great on conversation,somewhat charming with smiling eyes and lips. You gotta love a man who opens the car door for you and acts like you’re the only woman in the room even when you’re in a pretty decent sized restaurant with lots of other females around. So I got lucky with P in more ways then just a dinner out. It was too soon to have slept with him, but I did. I am a boomer after all ! Too old to keep thinking "Maybe he won't respect me in the morning." I did ask that. He didn't answer. Which led me to believe I might have been over playing my hand,but one thing lead to another. It was his fault. He had leaned over in the car after being what I thought was more controlled then most men I have been out with and he gave me one of the longest and best, passionate kisses I've ever had in my life. And I've had a lot. I was married twice had a few long lasting relationships, a and I spent more than a few passionately hot years with a famous Rock Star, who was much more than a friend with benefits.So here I was with P. now back at my house . He dragged me or I dragged him, his shit eating grin and his ‘hard on’ into my bed. I thought about that this morning. And throughout the day. And I thought about how much the physique of my 30 something daughter’s new lover looked liked my former bf and lover T, twenty something..No, I don't consider myself a "cougar" but what's good for DEMI is good for the rest of us if the chemistry works. Thank God again! this time for women's lib.Then because nothing or no one seemed to be "happening" during this kinda BLAH day. I thought about C (40 something) who turned out to give some of the best oral I've ever had. And K (another 40 something)who last week found just the right way to my clit, and I thought about A (another boomer) who left my thighs tingling with one kiss about a month or so ago. I never did get to try him out properly,,. And D ( 60 something) who has a way with his hands, and shit while I'm writing this I remember that today I also thought about G (30 something the hot ex NFL guy) and K ( my really hot buddy from NYC) with the hot rod and I don't mean his car, and harley. Haven't seen him in too long a time. Then back to P and his damn kisses and his eyes and smile. The way he tantalizes. So I decided I had to put it out there. DO WOMEN REALLY THINK LESS ABOUT SEX THEN MEN DO?



I know we are busy playing super mom when the kids are young and we get tired but even then not for George Clooney..come on give me a break!. I still thought about sex with my husband even when the kids were little and I was so blinded with fatigue I could barely change the diaper. But I wanted to feel every pleasure he had had to offer me. 20,26,30 something,40 something, or now 50 whatever.I'm still multi-orgasmic.Touch my left nipple and you’ve got me. I'm still feeling the desire and the need, and I can tell you there are woman I have spoken to in nursing homes that prefer that good looking orderly to help them into their bed. But that thing about sex and age is another story. Today, I want to know. Do men really think more about sex then women do? Or do they just admit to it more? It's socially acceptable for the male species to be openly SEX U ALL.To talk about their hot desires. I contend that we as women think about it just as much,even when we have kids,periods and pre menopausal symptoms.I don’t own a battery operated sex toy but I'm headed for the shower massage tonight or maybe a little self pleasure later. Life is good !