Does Size Matter?

Yes, you know what I mean. Man tell jokes about it. Women whisper about it.

Does it really really matter if his penis is big or small?

It was a friend of mine who mentioned the topic recently and so I began an unscientific survey. I asked approximately fifty women ages ranging from 32 to 62 if SIZE mattered to them.
Come back to read the results, comments and my own personal opinion on this topic.

In case you are thinking this subject might be a bit mundane. consider that next to financial issues, sex,or lack of satisfaction there of,is the reason both sexes most frequently give for cheating on their spouses.

Now we all know that men with big trucks and over sized wallets have small ones..lol... but
you'll have to come back to find out what women really think.
STAY TUNED...

CONVERSE VS. BLAHNIKS

Now it is said that you can tell a good man by his accessories... and a good woman too.
I'm not so sure.
I had a choice this morning. Converse for the gym or my Blahniks and get right to work.
I chose Converse,no makeup, an old tank and shorts. I went to the gym and stopped all sweaty at the store. No less then three men converged on me. Now, two were married and the other, well, lets just say that he was younger then me.
I was flattered equally by all.
Sometimes a woman needs a lift without the heels. Especially on Wednesdays.
Now don't get me wrong I love my heels. I love the feeling of being a woman and floating through a place in something flirty with heels to boot... (well not to boot though boots make me feel good too..especially high ones with heels)... but you know what I mean.
It makes me feel sexy...like sexy underwear, a bit of light perfume, a low cut blouse, a dangling earring and the diamond on my finger.
It's not difficult to feel beautiful.
But it is even better to know you don't look beautiful and have men approach you with compliments or for your number. I am not at all put off by this,, even the men that go beyond subtle attempts for my attention and the ones that come close to stalking by following me around the store for a bit trying to engage me in some dumb ass conversation while staring at my boobs.
I love you guys! Men from 20 to 90 who catch a glimpse even when they are with their girlfriends or wives. Sure I think they are inappropriate dogs on the one hand if they are with another woman but a part of me is still flattered.
Of course they can't help it, just like they can't help selective hearing and never really saying what they feel, or finding it difficult to please me when they have already spent themselves somewhere in the first fifteen minutes of love making BUT they are inexplicably adorable. Like little boys with wide eyes and a taste for candy and willing to do whatever they have to do to get it. They don't seriously think it all through.
There is NO strategy.
They simply see what they like and are led by the flow of blood to their other brain to make their moves.
They don't care if I am in my sweaty gym clothes and Chuck Taylor Converse in any assortment of colors from pink to black with purple trim...
They may prefer the heels,...my beautiful strappy Blahniks that give me an ego kick.
I know I do.
I prefer my heels,my sexy thongs, my pierced left nipple. They all make me feel good, but nothing, nothing... are you listening men out there? makes a woman feel better then your attentive smile,your wink, your look of utter baffling approval... Because as you are becoming more aroused she can sense it and if the chemistry is right, she feels the fire too.
Don't stop looking, and saying your sweet hello's or shouting out your whistles from construction sites. I'll never complain. I promise.
Let me know what you like and I'm happy to jump right in and flirt right back at you.
Especially on Horny Tuesdays,,, or whatever other day you want to make it happen.

So let me know Converse or Blahniks...???

If the chemistry is right, I'll walk your way.
And to the three men this morning, thanks for making my day...

I hope you get yours just the way you like it.
Only a few more days to the weekend. I'm gonna get mine. ;-) hmmm..Blahniks, I think.

A Life Interrupted But Not Lost

Sometimes no matter how hard I try my health gets in the way of my activity.

I have told you I would be honest and this is the truth about my life that even people who I see on a fairly regular basis don’t know. They are friends or acquaintances in social situations and others who I help to maintain and maximize their own health or to keep the losses and stresses in their lives from draining their Spirits.

My story is not complicated, but it is probably not familiar to many of you.

You see when I was 38 years old, just a few months after my second marriage I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.
Now why in the world would I tell you that, here on a blog about sexuality?

Well, maybe it is because after a year and a half of almost complete remission I find myself once again in the grips of the relapsing/ remitting symptoms of this illness, and of the result of lower resistance to other viruses and infections.

I recently got over a flu ,,,not swine, I was tested, but a flu and ear and throat infection.

It was exhausting, but nothing in comparison to what I live through in the hours, days, weeks, and, in the past, months that I suffer with the limitations of the pain of my M.S.

M.S. is not always painful and apparently it is not always severely debilitating.
I have struggled with a variety of symptoms but mostly it is the burning neuropathic pain that keeps me from my life when it does arise.
It is sort of like a light switch of pain that clicks on whenever, wherever and then it clicks off whenever it feels like. I compare it to the pain in the old movie Rosemary’s Baby. The main character has the gnawing debilitating pain for months and then it just suddenly stops.

So it is with my life. Except of course I have not been impregnated by the Devil...
And so it is the reason that I live my life outside of any serious relationship.
I can barely deal with the illness myself. How could anyone else?

I do go to the gym, and go out dancing and have pleasantly exhausting all night sex with my partner or partners ( one at a time, though I do have a fantasy about TWO men,lol)... I would not burden anyone else with the ups and downs of ME over the long haul.
One day so healthy and enthusiastic about life that I am hiking, and dancing and finding ways to have a travel adventure of one sort or another. On another occasion I might be found in bed or on my couch alone, watching CNN or medical programs which are my passion or sleeping the pain away, if I can sleep.

You will ask if I have been properly diagnosed. I assure you that I have from some of the best medical centers and doctors. You will ask about treatments, I have rejected all after carefully researching and watching their side effects in others with this hideous disease.
I do medicate on occasion for pain. But I meditate more.
I am not by any means addicted though sometimes in the height of the pain, I wish that I was. Sometimes a pain medication takes the edge off the pain sometimes not. I have once or twice been curled up in a ball without relief from heat pads or ice packs, or medications. I have refused any form of morphine, patches etc,,,because I want the life I live most of the time to be without brain fog, and drug induced side effects.

I am one of those people who you would pass on a walk, or in the store and chat with and never know that somewhere in my brain there are lesions that cause a disconnect that for me does not progressively debilitate but, which on occasion sometimes more often then I would like, causes debilitating pain.
Yes folks, I have tried Marijuana. too and though sometimes it helped, along with the munchies, sometimes it has no effect so I simply live in the moment of the pain and believe. that as it always has before, it will go away again.

So on a lighter note. Multiple Sclerosis is not what or who I am though on those days of pain I feel that it well may be.
Multiple Sclerosis is like aging all too young.

Being limited from the things you love to do, not being able to commit for the most part to time schedules,plans, and commitments to plans with friends. It eats at your social interaction as it eats at your central nervous system and only those strong friends survive in my world... strong friends and those that wander in and out of my life as lovers who never know, because they cannot see it, and so I never tell them.
They know me as the woman with passion for life and fun, music and nature, dance and sex.
They know me as joyous of Spirit a compassionate, listening, caring and,perhaps flirty, friend who is there when they call to offer them a soft place to fall.

You see, if I can meet my own challenges, surely I can offer them a place to put theirs.

So for joy I write this blog about romance and relationship and lust and passionate sex.

I am thrilled to be given this opportunity.

My illness has moved me along more quickly I think on my Spiritual path and I do well at sensing souls,seeing beyond the facade of some troubled beings.

I value my relationships with women as much as I value my relationships with men.

No I do NOT find women sexually attractive so I don’t have sex with women. But I do understand that kind of love, partnership and companionship.

I remain friends with my ex’s and have been understanding and friends with some of their new girlfriends, or wives.

I believe women have a bond that needs to be strengthened, not weakened and broken.
And men, though very different, are also sensitive creatures who often are out of touch with their feelings and are, more so then women, pushed into different behaviors by the content of their hormones and equipment below the waist.

There are lost souls in both sexes. People who are insecure, and need to lie and to keep running out of fear, and some who never seem to get how to do that without hurting others.

I value honesty above all else, and so demand from others what I give them.

I may not like what my man has to tell me, but I would rather hear it from his mouth then find out he has been lying to me. Lies and betrayal have a way of making you feel like the other person thinks you are STUPID and STUPID, or feeling like a FOOL,is one of the most hurtful things you can allow your self to feel.

As you continue to read the other posts, and there are many more to come about my past experiences with men and those that are current, i hope that you will keep all of this in mind.

I write because I must. For me it is like breathing.

You know you have found a passion when time is lost to you... and when you want to return to it over and over again.

Writing, travel, deep conversations,the beauty in nature especially the ocean,mountains, stars,rainbows, flowers, the loss of breath that comes at the end of a hike on an ocean cliff, rowing an outrigger across the bay, or at the end of more then a few dances, or at the culmination of sexual exuberance,,, this is really my life and who I am.
And so I will continue to write about it for all who are interested in continuing to read it.

Thank you my silent friends and those that write to me here and there.
Njoy the read. LIFE IS GOOD !

Please Sir, Please! I Want Some More ...

Why is it that, sometimes, "You Can't Stop 'Till You Get Enough!"?

Horny Tuesdays

What is it that happens on Tuesdays. Weekend over, the monster fed and hungry again?
Hmmm. Always Hungry on Tuesday. Can't wait to hear him, to smell him, to taste him, to have him. Can't wait for him to smell me, to taste me, to HAVE me. Please baby... dinner can wait can't it? Kitchen counter, kitchen floor, kitchen table... wherever you want me, how ever I want you. I'm not a cougar. I'm a she wolf, your fox. Come and play. I'll take the time to tease you, take you in. Why?
Because remember way back when ... that first post. Women DO think about sex as much as men do. We just weren't exposed, so to speak, so much before. We were taught to be ladies, to be good, not to be NAUGHTY. We've found ourselves though. No longer repressed, we aren't afraid to be the aggressor to move toward you...to undo your tie, to unbutton those buttons and unzip that fly. I know what I want. Can you give it to me? Will you give it to me? Do you want me to beg? Please baby, please... pretty please ..give me some...give me a tease then give me a taste.
Make it good. It's Tuesday. I'm always horny on Tuesday.
Screw Wednesday. That's Hump Day.
Give it to me now on Tuesday. We can eat food later. It's time on Tuesday for a Sensual Taste.
Did you know having sex regularly increases your life expectancy.
Forget the food... but lets eat.
Life is GOOD !

Lustful Moaning

It was your music I heard.
Softly, and with each note your breath against my neck.

As you moved with me,against me,
I heard you sing.

Your pleasure measured in your song,
Muffled subtle moaning of your lust for me.

So sweet,so hot was the music.
I began to forget myself.

I began to melt into you,
Your torrid strength against my supple flesh.

My body anxiously warm and wet,
As you pushed forward into me over and over again.

You suddenly conscious of my enlarging breasts,
I began to feel you lose yourself.

The music now,against my ear, louder than before.
You called to me burning in your pleasure.

Your song promising the momentary ecstasy we would share.
You sang to me and my body met your song.

I lost myself in your words and your flesh.
Your song rose within me.

Then finally I met you there,
In the exquisite moment of heated passion.

You came for me, and I for you.

We were quiet and still,
But the music lingered.



MG 7-11-09

I Don't Know About You But...

A BRIEF ASIDE I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND:

The world lost one of its most talented entertainers Michael Jackson.
A beautiful, young boy of many talents who morphed into a man of many conflicts.
What seems strange is not the facts of his life and his death but that now we focus on the idiosyncrasies of a man we accepted as The King of Pop.
WHY ?
Are our own lives so dull that we must dig into this tormented man's addictions until we think we have figured it all out.
Figured what out?
Surely he was somewhat eccentric,,, aren't we all in some ways?
We will never really know what was in his heart, or head, nor what it was that really caused him so much pain that he had to rely so heavily on over using medications in whatever ways he could get them and have them administered to him.
Our society has thousands, if not millions, of people who live in pain and with scaring insecurities so much so that they try to find peace through drug or alcohol use.
Some of us obviously feel better when we are numbed from that pain while others are able to deal with it head on, forget it, deny it,or allow it to remain secret and affect us deeply and our closest relationships as well.
Talented,creative genius seem to suffer inexplicably from such torments.
Their outlet is their creative work from which, in this case, we benefited.
We were given his gift of passion for music and dance and bravado in a way that we had never experienced it before.
I don't know about you but I ask you this: Can't we just be grateful for that, and let the rest go so that his family, especially his children , can begin to pick up the pieces of their young lives and find joy in the memory of their father?
Why the circus of questions as to whether or not he fathered his children in the conventional way, and whether he really did have sex with the women he married. Shouldn't that just be something between those people who were actually involved ? What matters to me is not who is having or had sex with who or even why... what matters is not if my neighbor has a satisfying sex life, what matters to me is if I am deeply satisfied with my own life.
Maybe things like this are better not kept as secret but kept as private and sacred.
Take all the energy that is now put into all these after the fact discussions, and put it into pray for his family... and into making passion in all its forms in our lives. In the end, it is his passion we will always remember him for. In the end, it is our passions that make every breath of our lives worth taking.
I am grateful for his gift.
I don't know about you but I think having received that gift from him is enough. All the other after chatter is without meaning.
Now on to your passions and to mine.

Sex Is What You Like To Read About

Being as honest as I said I would be in this blog, I have noticed that when the focus in my writing turns to relationship issues and feelings, less of you read the entry.

Perhaps in naming this blog I was misleading. My original intent was to allow a free flow of ideas and exchanges with comments..my sex diary and my thoughts and feelings on dating experiences.
Interestingly but perhaps not surprisingly is the fact that SEX is the topic you want to hear about.

Shame on me for being so naive.

Point taken, my continuing writings will discuss more of my sensuality and sexual experiences. I have no problem with that but thought the interspersing of relationship issues might be of similar interest.

This not being the case. Join me on this wild and wet journey... written as truthfully and as openly as I can. My Spiritual and intellectual side set aside, I will share with you the rest of me... for it too makes me a whole human being... my Sex-capades.

NJOY the read... LIFE IS GOOD !

What Are We Trying To Be Independent From?

I felt it would be appropriate on this Fourth of July weekend to address the topic of Independence.

Celebrating this Nation’s independence from its mother country made me consider a few things about my own independence and, others I know. Perhaps you fit into this category,too. Loudly, boldly, proudly declaring that you are separate and apart,alone but not lonely.

To go back in time a bit, I chose to get married (the first time) on July 3, so that the next day would be a holiday for everyone in attendance at the wedding and I think unconsciously I wanted to shout it out to the world that I,now, was beginning my new life, my own family apart from the dysfunctional one in which I had grown. Yes, my nuclear, biological family was one that took the FUN out of dysfunctional. I was anxious to have a REAL family and to get IT right this time! Of course, I was only 20. I was so young and naive that I failed miserably creating only another family where there was confusion,anger,inconsistency and little support for my beautiful daughters from their father or myself. We were not yet WHOLE individuals. Both from failing families, how could we have ever expected that we would even begin to know how to make our little family all that it should be?

We succeeded in divorcing and, despite us, our daughters grew up intelligent creatures, with some of their own issues, but none the less with beautiful hearts and souls.
Now, years later, having lived through all the best and worst of the sixties and all that followed including a second marriage, I find myself proudly saying that I am a very independent woman.

For this, all my nurturing qualities and feminine charms, I expect that some equally strong,knowing, and loving individual will come along and swoop me romantically into his arms and include me in his life. Allowing me my independence of course... ;-)
Seems though after you have been married and had kids, once or twice or more, or sometimes not at all, by this time in your life you are:what is proverbially called “ settled in your ways.”

You meet someone attractive. There is chemistry. You are tempted to allow yourself to become engaged in some sort of, dare I say it?, “relationship”.... Hmmm....
Do I, or don’t I ? Should I or shouldn’t I.? How far should I get into this? Do I really want to go there? Do I want to give up my space,free time,life of privacy,no strings,no nets, no chains?

Now, I don’t know about you, but when I arrive home everyday, I kinda like the quiet and that everything is still just where I left it, in its place or not.
I like not having to explain to someone that I am too tired to talk, that I need a breather, that I feel like sitting and staring into space for a moment or an hour, playing on the internet or listening to the boob tube as I sort through the refrigerator, or freezer or cabinet or menus from local restaurants to see what I feel like eating... or maybe I don’t want to eat at all. Maybe I want just to go for a walk ALONE.

Is it just me? I don’t think so. Sometimes I don’t want to answer someone's polite conversations of concern... Is it just that I haven’t fallen in love lately? Have I forgotten what that feels like? That it might feel good?
Yeah, but for how long?
Marriages don’t last. One out of every three fails, or is it two?. Second marriages have less success. Living together,,, saves on expenses for a time but then familiarity does seem to breed contempt. I’ve seen it with friends. I,too, have separated from a live in lover maintaining our friendship but separating just the same.

If there aren’t kids, or common financial assets to keep us focused do we really want to be WITH someone.

My phone is full of names and numbers.
My life has, despite what they say about never having enough, enough friends. Although I do, of course, look forward to meeting new and interesting people who might then become a part of my life.
I can’t help but enjoy having my full queen bed to myself, my own bedroom. I enjoy that no one bitches at me about anything really, except on occasion a dear friend, or my kids and that’s only if I feel like listening.

I rarely feel lonely.
Horny? YES , often..but LONELY? Sometimes maybe on News Years Eve, or when I’ve just seen some chic flick about that perfect relationship..you know, the Hollywood ending of love everlasting... or when I see an elderly couple look adoringly into each other’s eyes obviously treasuring a lifetime of memories, or when I see a couple obviously married still talking to one another in a restaurant and seemingly still enjoying a stimulating conversation.
Did you ever notice that ? You can usually tell if people are married in restaurants because they are the people NOT talking to each other, and not smiling and touching each other’s hands.

Is “FREEDOM just another word for nothing left to lose?” as the song lyrics ask....or is freedom and independence, something worth holding on to? Is it that comfort in our own skin, in our homes, to sleep all over the whole bed, not having to worry about someone else’s issues, or to think about our snoring or farting or other human noises making us less endearing to someone else, is that the true freedom we cherish?

I sort of like the idea that all the bills that come in my mailbox are my bills.

Sure, sometimes I wish someone else would be there to help me pay them.
Sometimes I’d like someone else to make a complicated decision with me or for me so I wouldn’t have to.
I would especially like when I am sick for someone to bring me a hot cup of tea, or run to the store for a craving of mine, or someone to just plain take care of things so I could just watch a movie, or CNN or read a book or whatever,,,,without having to think about anything.
A good deal of the time I want it to be ‘just me.”
Even when I walk into a restaurant alone,I really don’t mind. It took me years to overcome that eating in public alone stigma,but now, at this time of my life, I have it down.

But, the thing is, when I am horny, sometimes, in fact more often lately, I want to fall into the arms of not just a casual lover but of a lover who KNOWS me , who GETS me, who thinks I am someone really special. I want to be with that man I have always dreamed of being with, the one who is all about his life work, his passion, and who takes his play time with me as seriously as he does his work time.
I want to be with the man who cares as much about this earth and the people on it as I do and who takes the time, his and my assets to make sure that we leave the world a better place. Now THAT would be some FIREWORKS !

So I ask you, what about you? What do you really want? And if we describe ourselves as INDEPENDENT, what are we really trying to be independent from?

As the fireworks explode on this fourth and fad into the glimmer... will you be happy to be declaring your independence?Or will you be craving it?
Will you be wanting OUT of the relationship you are in? Or will you be wondering, like me, if being alone is just about perfect most of the time, but not exactly what you had dreamed or planned your life would be?

Will you boast INDEPENDENCE while you quietly, subtly wonder somewhere inside you, if “Independent “is the thing you really want to stay?

When you say you are Independent, what are you really saying you are independent from?

What are the fireworks in your life?

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY !

Njoy YOUR fireworks, whatever they are... Life is GOOD!