Scorpio: It's All About Sex And Death

SCORPIO : It’s All About Sex and Death

I am a Scorpio. The horoscope sign that had its ruling planet PLUTO “once removed” not long ago. Replaced by Mars, I think,,,not sure..no matter...

I have read and have been told that Scorpios are all about Sex and Death.
It was explained to me that this was not about a literal death, of course, but about the total surrender to LOVING in the sexual act. I had had that and I liked and was relieved by that idea. So was the man I was dating at the time of this revelation. He knew my family history.

My Italian and French background had some dark sides. In my family there had been a few “crazies”,. some closeness with “THE FAMILY” as in THE GODFATHER etc,,,, after all we were Italian...My mother’s family from Naples and my father’s family right off the boat from Sicily. As is “known” in Italian families, people from Naples are warm and wonderful while men, in particular, from Sicily will stab you in the back.It is best to keep knives away from them. And so it was in my family that though we joked about this sometimes, most of the time there were arguments that ended in weeks of punishing silence and among relatives announcements if they had hurt your feelings that they were in fact DEAD to you.
If you are Italian, you are laughing because you understand. If not you are wondering what the hell I am talking about. Yes, it really is a lot like it has been portrayed in the movies. Our home and family was full of tension,anxiety and depressives who either found creative out lets for their dark moods or took it out in resentments and anger or died of things that one could look back at as being stifled emotions that caused the body to implode.

In my life in a matter of ten years I experienced the death of all of my immediate family,my brother,father,sister,mother and also an ex husband.Four years after that decade, the loss of one of the great loves of my life and of my sweet granddaughter,Nia.I am blessed with two beautiful daughters who have both been my comfort,joy and,sometimes,the most accepting people in my life.Acceptance of individual uniqueness is a thread I have tried to weave through the cloth of our little family since my divorce from their father. Acceptance of Self and Love of life was a gift from my brother who died from AIDS in 1990.

Now why do I bother to share all of this on an adult content blog when I have previously aroused your sexual desires, peaked your interests in the dynamics of the social scene, with a little erotica tossed in.

I suppose I share this all with you because some of you know what I have felt because you have felt it too. Perhaps your losses were not the same or so close toge her but you have experienced death and dying.

I offer you my thinking on this ...whether your loss has been through death, broken love affairs,divorce or drifting apart.... the depth of that pain... will, if it has not already, open you up to its opposites to the heights of joy and bliss and if you are at all a sensual being , to the sometimes painful need to be close to another human being sometimes even in a sexual way.

Death,loss, predisposes us to the unconscious emotion that all could be lost..gone in day, a minute.. And so sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes that friendship, that love affair with an almost stranger becomes far more intense and focused.
I believe that all of us ..all of our neurosis stems from two things...1) grief itself, even if we are grieving the loss of a bad thing and moving on to good, and 2)fear of abandonment.
Every human being’s greatest fear hidden in our need to be accepted, desired,needed and loved comes from the fear that some how, some way, some day we will be alone: abandoned.

SO again what does this have to do with this particular blog? : “The Sex Diary of A Boomer Woman.” This is my utmost vulnerability, as it may be yours.
I do not fear my own death. I am a believer in life after death and though my idea of heaven may not be in a bible chapter or verse, I do believe that my Soul continues to exist after this life and that LOVE lives forever even beyond this dimension. I have seen and felt the Spiritual and, yes, I believe.
I do not believe that my sensual / sexual being is in conflict with those thoughts and beliefs.
To the contrary,for every loss I have experienced I believe I have an increased capacity to love. I have an increased capacity to treasure the moments...the gift of the present..I try with desperation sometimes to live the “BE HERE NOW” thing.

Scorpio may be about sex and death. Like all other SIGNS it is about love and life which includes loss... sometimes just letting go of that other person and moving forward to the next gift of loving. I encourage all who I know and I encourage you to truly reach out and touch someone. Whether in the depth of caring and compassion or the playfulness of lustful passion,don’t be afraid to touch. It is so healing. It costs nothing, even in this economy. The bail out may not come in checks and balances but in truly making a difference in someone else’s life. I know I sound trite here equating gifts of compassion to enjoying your sexual side. You might gather from all of this that I am some lost grieving soul who throws herself into relationships one after the other in an effort to justify my sexuality.
Read more of my posts and you will learn more. I,like the rest of you, am multi dimensional and try very hard to divide my life into caring for others in nurturing, compassionate, humanitarian ways and allowing myself the freedom,when I am so inclined,to explore both the intellect and the passions of a man with similar beliefs.

I promise in my next post to be lighter and far more sexual for those of you who clicked here for the first time and read this post first. But ,you see, I promised honesty and openness in this dialogue with you, and I keep my promises.
Of course I am a Scorpio, so accordingly, I may hold grudges for a very long time. And draw you into my web with exquisite cunning.
I will hopefully bring you back for more.
Quite honestly there is so much more to tell, and I have not even begun to get to the really juicy parts of this surprise adventure that has been my life and prompted me to begin my sex diary here.
Far more then I could have ever imagined. Life is GOOD !