THE MARKET IS CHANGING

THE MARKET IS Changing


You’ve probably begun to notice it ,too. As I’ve stated. I’m no expert, just another observer. I do make an effort to ease drop on conversations at clubs and,of course, listen attentively to my own friends who are discussing how their love life is affected by the down turned economy.

Stress is way up, of course. Even for the wealthy among us stocks,money markets and 401 Ks took a hit.
How does this play out in the social scene?

Recently while enjoying an exceptional sexual encounter with a younger man, in the midst of our breather,he announced,to make himself clear, that he was looking for a girlfriend and more.
“What are you talking about?” I asked. “Friends with benefits? Even a relationship is not that difficult to find, at least I haven’t found it so, have you.?”
“No, not just that,” he replied, as he glanced around my bedroom. “ I kinda want to settle in.”
“Aren’t you settled in your own place?” I asked.
“Not really, I want to move in with a woman who is already settled in to her space, like a house.”
DING! The bells and whistles went off. Were my assets being accessed?

“Did you plan on her supporting you, or the other way around?” I asked bluntly.

“No, no... don’t misunderstand me,” he protested,. “just cohabiting,having sex and splitting the bills,you know. Dating is getting pretty expensive.”

And so there it was.

I throughout my dating years have met,socialized and dated men who have been younger, older and anywhere in between, but had never heard this proposal made in such a clear and succinct manner.

Did I tell you this was my first date with this 36 year old man?

Now, I know you are thinking, well of course, that’s what he was looking for. What are you totally stupid? He younger, you older...the cougar and his target sugar mama....

Well, to be clear myself, I had NEVER been in this space before.

I have no doubt that this good looking,well built,well hung young gentleman will find his way into some woman’s home in no time flat. In fact I even offered him helpful pointers as to how to make a home for himself with a woman already financially secure.

Then I began to think and listen more and observe more closely everywhere I went.

Older men ( and men my own age) are no longer just looking for the cute,trophy wife. She now has to have more then looks. She too, has to have a means of supporting herself. Otherwise “OUCH!” it hurts them in the only place that really, really concerns some men...their wallet.
In this economy even the most successful man is fearful when he sees his future assets decline. Men’s DNA includes some form of competitive drive toward success and masculine prowess in the bedroom and in their bank account.
Beside that in both genders,the comforts of fine living are difficult to give up.
In this economy,men seem to be talking about staying married for “financial reasons” more then ever before. Or if they feel they have already lost it all, they are taking this opportunity to walk away from their marriages. If their income is low so will their child support and alimony payments be.

Women with moderate incomes stand less of chance of finding a husband then woman with money do.

And, I don’t know about you but from what I have seen 20 and 30 year olds aren’t moving toward marriage unless there is a baby on the way. Indicating, I think that young men are securing their social freedom and their financial assets.

Perhaps it is now, in this economy ,less about fear of commitment as it is about fear of splitting the pay check.

While young women in relationships are pressuring boyfriends to move in to share expenses, and wiser young men are taking them up on their offers,,, or ultimatums....whichever way it is presented to them.
Save on date money,save on gas, split the rent and utilities, share a shower...;-) It all seems to be about “saving cash,” and maybe not so much about Love for the sake of loving.

Now before I go on I do want to address this cougar thing one more time.

As described in the above scenario, I was not the one being forward in this interaction. I was NOT the huntress..He was not the prey. As a matter of fact it was completely opposite.
This guy had already been married and divorced and had had two kids and was obviously in a financial hole from all that was required of him financially ie: child support and alimony.

He was thinking quite strategically when he approached ME that night at a club in an upscale side of town. I had no fantasy about the “romance”.
He was good looking,charming,intelligent enough and there was for me an immediate attraction so why not try him out?

Take him home and keep him? No.

I had had my share of younger men and so there was no need to boost ego. I do very much enjoy younger men, even perhaps prefer them,but mostly because they, for the most part, seem more attentive, light hearted, less controlling,can do their own laundry and cooking,can be extremely perceptive, and communicate more openly because they feel “safer” to do so with an older woman. She isn’t going to get pregnant , or ask to get married. She has already been there and done that. So there is little pressure between the two.

The other obvious advantage is that younger men can keep up sexually. Sure Viagra works for those over 50 men who aren’t afraid to take it... but there is a certain energy lacking if not aesthetics itself when laying in bed with a younger man whose erection is never ending, whose energy and laughter are spontaneous and genuine. While the 50 something guy is afraid you might want MORE..more of a relationship, more of his time, more of his money and even a relationship and marriage. The mature man may be sexually free but emotionally he is usually emotionally detaching as soon as he has hung around for a bit too long.

The younger man has no qualms about making clear that he wants your company, and sex with you without the pressure of commitment.
In some cases, he may and you may eventually commit to each other. This may happen with more frequency as society accepts that, YES, older women have the same “rights” to date younger men as older men have to date younger women.

As for me,I am somewhat old fashion... and I am not wealthy. I choose not to support the men in my life of ANY age. I am independent and expect them to be so,too.

So I may have to let this particular 36 year old find his sugar mama and just enjoy his endless erections until he finds her.

There is no better evening then dinner and drinks and a man who is able to first stimulate your mind and then be more then willing to find every part of your body that stimulates you.,.to linger there and to cum inside you, remain erect and lying there on top of you or beside you, or behind you still inside you while orgasmic muscle spasms slow to a stop and then you begin once again to caress his hard cock inside you and he begins once again to move silently at first into the next erotic movements that lead to another orgasmic wonder.*
* (Now that was a run on sentence that seemed worth the grammatical faux pas)

And then when you are both fully spent.... completely exhausted. You can remind him that it is an early day for YOU tomorrow and that he needs to get his pants on and go.

There may be a man someday who will really GET ME and who will stay.
It would be a much smarter financial plan. In this down market I really should give it more serious consideration. Seems many people are.
Perhaps, just perhaps when I get a little bit more entranced by some man’s smile. But for now, I think I am becoming a man in a woman’s body.
This economy has not yet changed that for me.
It seems that those flirtatious men who are my pleasurable torment are taken and not likely to be free until the economy improves.
So I live with my diversions. Good people,good times,developing friendships, laughter that is light and non committal... and still enjoying society’s illusion that I am the cougar when in fact it is still the man who is the hunter and I submit to being his prey.
It’s a hard role to play,but some body has to do it.! ;-)
Life is good!