Is It Just About Sales and Marketing?

So many websites so little time.
Look at Twitter and you are bombarded by sales and marketing pitches. Examples aren't necessary for Tweeters, you all know what I mean.

Then there are the dating websites where one puts their profile, face and some sort of "name" to lure the reader to check them out, send them an email, or in some cases a "wink." All the hopes of finding true love.
You open an email to find, "John has sent you a wink."
Well, I don't know about you but "WHOOPIE!" I am not much impressed.
Was John too afraid or too busy to send a few words of personal introduction?

No phone numbers are posted on these sites so as to "protect" the users. But later in email contacts they are exchanged as they are in clubs, and gas stations, and super markets, and hardware stores around town. Wherever men and women meet, numbers are exchanged and then the intensified sales and marketing begins.
Now, when did we stop being real?
When I sold cars years ago I was taught the term..L T D. No, not the car model... The manager in a sales meeting said, "The first rule of selling successfully is Lies, Trickery and Deceit." I will never forget that. I was appalled then, but I wonder now does this apply to the social/dating scene?

I've noticed that most profiles indicate that men are fit "athletic" discerning guys who don't ever watch television and don't "do the club" scene. Also that often pictures are many years old.
First: So how is it that television shows get such high ratings? And how is it that in conversation everyone knows at least what the show "LOST" is, and who Barbara Walters is interviewing this week.
And, Second: who are all those people who are greasing the palms of club owners across the country even through this rough economy?
I don't mean to imply that either of these things are negative, but why do people feel the need to lie about them?
It seems the sales and marketing pitch facade excludes these things,least a man or woman be judged a lazy boob tube junky.
Third: Why put a really old picture when you do hope to eventually meet in person.
I have had the experience and many of you had to when meeting in person of thinking," Who the hell is this person?

Sitting across from someone on a first, second or even third date getting through to the essence of their being is sometimes a chore. I admit it myself. I do a sort of interview process. Is it because I worked in business for so long? Is it because I feel I need to time manage and to be cost efficient? Time is money, right?

I'm not so sure what women use as their marketing tools. I know that sounds ridiculous as I am a woman, but except for dressing provocatively and portraying themselves as women in distress needing rescuing or so super independent that they don't need a man, I am not sure what else women do..most I have met are far more humble and honest and then men I think.
Are men just a bit more insecure or is it because they have been in the business world too long and their mind set is pressure sell or market gently but put the agenda out there and get to the goal of the meeting.
I admit to being flirtatious but,personally, I will tell you anything about myself if you ask except for my true age and weight. On all other topics I am completely honest and straight forward. Why, because I want to KNOW you, truly KNOW who you really are.
Now from men I get this type of conversation.
" Hi, I'm James... What's your name? Nice to meet you yada yada.. the "come here often?" Or "I've seen you here before haven't I ?" standard opening lines.
That's fine.

Then the conversation moves on depending on the man into a few different categories.
They begin to sell themselves with their wares.
"I live on Snob Hill. Of course that's only one of my homes, I have one in the Carribean too, and one on the Mediteranian. I didn't take the mercedes tonite, or the old classic, I'm riding my BMW bike. Wanna see it? Take a ride, go home with me or can I follow you home?"

Now in between this sales pitch there may be some small talk. Perhaps a question or two about you. But mostly it is focused marketing. From the man's prospective it is to make the point: Who I am is what I own and you can have have a taste, if I can have a taste of you, literally.

Or there is the big time positive opener whose close ends the same as the above...

"Wanna come home with me or can I follow you home?"

But this pitch is a bit different.

Here's my number call me if you don't find what you NEED. The implication very overt. A half hour soliloquy about what kind of a man he thinks he is.

"You don't know me yet,but I am the best lover you'll ever have. I love to please a woman. Making a woman cum is my only goal in life. I have a great tongue. I always give more then I expect back. You have never seen or felt a dick like mine. I could burn a whole in the mattress with you. I am always on fire and the true energizer bunny."
Come on now ladies, tell me you haven't heard this before!

There is shy guy "I don't meet many women.", and there is married guy "we live together still I love her but there is no sex." There is I work so hard guy "I don't have time to date or take you to dinner but can I follow you home?" There is sports guy,"I'm always on the field or course, or watching or coaching games,so I just don't have the time for a relationship."
But yet, and still each one of these men has a sales and marketing pitch to cut to the chase so to speak.

Some time ago when I did massage for a few years, I met men from all over the country, with varying occupations and marital status. Why is it that in all that time I only had one man say simply "That was a great massage." But ALWAYS, no matter what their age, or social status, they would say.. "Hey do you ever do anything MORE? An
attractive woman like you is difficult to walk away from and I just don't seem to "relax" enough. I'd pay you extra if only you would let me... "

Doctors, lawyers, musicians, athletes, from football players to golfers, from bankers to construction workers ... from 25 - 75,,, not one man missed an opportunity to pick his head up during the massage and mention some bit of information about himself that might close the sale except for one.

I have been told I am jaded in my thinking and that I just am meeting the wrong men in the wrong places. Reread above,please. I don't think so.

Some of these are great men, wonderful men, some of them exceptional human beings who were both gifted and humanitarian,,,who, like many women, seem to find ourselves allowing our people skills to become more fragmented and evolved into what we can use to "sell" ourselves to others. The EGO as Ekhardt Tolle discusses in his books has become so large we forget about the inner qualities that truly make up who and what we are.
Our real identities are only tentatively exposed because we have come to value things, and looks more then we value heart and passion for life not just passion in the bedroom.

I have seen this economy do many devastating things to families, taking away jobs and homes etc. Yet I have also observed a freshness in some of my conversations with new acquaintances. I think people are beginning to be forced to reevaluate their true identity. Ego is beginning to fall away and with less materialism to feed ego we are beginning to give more sincerely of what we truly do have. It doesn't have to be sold or marketed, it just IS. Pure and simplistic self of mind,heart,values, and ethics that does not begin with "this is what I own," or "this is how great I am in bed."
It begins with a sincere, "Hi"... "how are you doing?' It is filled not with "Fluff" but with the real substance of who we are and connections that evolve from sharing experiences, successes and losses, and something deeper then electronic "winks."
The admission that sometimes I lay on my couch with my favorite snack and get lost in the world of entertainment provided to me on a square box or flat screen in HD or not.

Can we learn to leave the sales and marketing at the office and just "BE."

Will we finally come to realize that we don't have to SELL or Market ourselves?

Will we finally be content in the knowledge that our TRUE SELF,,, is more then enough?

Keep Making Memories! Life IS GOOD!