So what is the Ugly Truth anyway?
All those dating myths and rules,the movies and books are unrelenting and I have chosen to continue my exploration into this dilemma.
If you have not read my first entry on this topic, (under the same title Advice 1-4), no matter really. You can go back and read it now or later.
If you are out there in the dating/ social scene it might be helpful to you or perhaps just a bit entertaining.
Like all women I think each day I feel a little differently about things and how I want to present myself to the opposite sex both in the work place and in social situations.
I have to say that one of the most important pieces of advice I can give is:
5) Don't be the wall flower.
Though the quiet wall flower type will attract some men, it just isn't any fun being the quiet one in the corner at the party, is it?
I don't know if I was born with it, sometimes I think that I was, but I have always been a little flirty at least.Not just in the way I dress though that is inevitably a part of it, but also in my demeanor.
Now, don't get me wrong, I did go through many years of uncomfortable awkward shyness. Until finally I was encouraged to come out of my shell by female friends and male friends alike who felt that I was in some ways cute and attractive. I do also have to give credit to my older brother who adored me and encouraged me to join in his parties putting me in the center of the circle of attention as he introduced me as both smart and beautiful.
Amazingly people believed him though I did not.
And so it went that I changed from the shy,inhibited girl to the fun, flirty person I perceive myself to be today.
WHY NOT !? ;-)
When you look around there are certainly ALWAYS women who are more attractive and there are men who appear too delicious to approach. But talk to some of these people and you will find that they are equally as insecure as you are and lovely wonderful people or in some cases that these people are in some ways all about their looks.
All in all no matter how you "think" you look, step forward out of the shadows and make yourself noticeable. SMILE... Listen and speak up when you feel so inclined.
Does this all sound waaaaay toooo oversimplified ???
Think again. Some people think that just by showing up in a crowd they will be swept off their feet by their perfect mate.
And, oh,yes, just go out to have a good time NOT with the intent to meet a mate.
Always, always BE A LITTLE FLIRTY... Talk to someone, look into his/her eyes, really listen to what he/she saying. Look further then the words into the Soul and their Spirit.
Everyone you meet has a story and more then likely it is a story that you can learn from and/or perhaps relate to. So don't just try to act "Kool."
Talk but not a lot. Listen.
Relax.
Take a BREATH.
Believe that you are UNIQUE, because YOU ARE !
And move into the social scene with a little burst of enthusiasm...
BE SASSY.
Be a little flirty !
But
6) Don't be too sexually aggressive.
We have all seen women in clubs who dress so provocatively that they are half out of their clothes.
Or the women sitting at the bar who hand over their bras and panties to the bartenders who by the way are the "rock stars" of a good club and often the reason women hang around the bar luring customers to buy them one drink after another. It is all part of the business. Get the women to sit at the bar and the men will follow.
The same principal as "If you build it they will come."
And come they do to the women who act provocatively, even overly sexually aggressive. Men who are drawn in will take you home for the night but they will toss you away in no time. So let me clarify... If you are looking for that one night of fun and frolic, go for it. But if you are going out to have a good time and to meet people of like mind and Spirit, then dress stylishly, dress comfortably for you whatever that is, dress in something that makes you feel confident and outgoing. Show a little skin,but be careful how much you give.
Put your hand on his or her arm or knee but keep it off her breast, or his crotch!
Rejection at this point is uncomfortable for both of you.
Sooner or later there will be a night when you are either the giver or receiver of this type of behavior. At this point you will sometime later either laugh about it or be embarrassed by it or perhaps both.
Just remember, sexual aggression is definitely appropriate in the right place and at the right time. But as the line goes: "GET A ROOM" if you are over come with lust and desire in a public place. PDA's (Public displays of affection) can be HOT... but don't over do it, making everyone else around you uncomfortable.
7) Men love being funny and enjoy when you laugh at their jokes,but women should not be as funny or laugh too loudly.
OK, OK, I hate to admit this one is, in my experience, very true because it goes back to cave man days I think, and seems very chauvinistic. The thing is though I have found it to be true. Men seem to prefer being the limelight. In fact they are somewhat threatened by the woman getting all the attention. Not at first perhaps but as time goes by the funnier, better looking, better dressed woman becomes a drain on the male ego. Men have to have the WOW factor perpetuated in their relationships.(More on the 'WOW' Factor later.) They have to know that they are best, and this includes the funniest!
So laugh at his jokes. Laugh long and hard but not too, too loud. When others are around allow the man to be the center of attention and he will find you all the more attractive for it.
Here's another antiquated piece of advice that is obviously not subscribed to by the Governor of California and his wife.
8) If you have to talk about politics keep an open mind and keep your mouth shut.
Disagreeing politically with someone always seems to get heated and uncomfortable in just a short period of time and ruins any connection between the two of you off track.
Now, to be clear, I am not saying that you should not have a different point of view, I am merely saying don't flaunt it.
Since most men are highly competitive in nature they see argumentative discussions not as an exchange of ideas but as a competitive sport.Since they have a very strong NEED to win in order to feel good about themselves they poise themselves strategically in political and sometimes religious discussions and losing such a situation, pinning his back to the wall, or yours, will make things extremely uncomfortable.
I once spent a great time and night with a very attractive man with whom the chemistry was intense... until I made the mistake of bringing up a presidential candidate whom he opposed. Not only did I sense that his ego was deflated but any further foreplay went limp, so to speak. ;-)
Enjoy the company of a man with opposing political views, but never, never have THAT conversation with him. It changes the chemistry completely and depending on the personalities of you and that man, it can totally ruin your relationship.
More on the "WOW" Factor I mentioned above next time
.
In the meantime, Get out there and NJOY !
Friday, October 16, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Time Away
I finally got my laptop a new battery.
Wish I had a new one, but can't do that right now.
If you enjoy my blog perhaps you have the ability to purchase a new APPLE laptop and send it my way ? ;-)
If not, thanks anyway. Will write here again as soon as I get situated in my new digs.
Thanks for your patience while I've been away.
Wish I had a new one, but can't do that right now.
If you enjoy my blog perhaps you have the ability to purchase a new APPLE laptop and send it my way ? ;-)
If not, thanks anyway. Will write here again as soon as I get situated in my new digs.
Thanks for your patience while I've been away.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Statement of Fact Re: Blogs and Blogggers
As a blogger I have agreed not to click on the ads on my page, and not to overtly encourage readers to click on and read the ads that appear next to and under my posts.
This is just a statement of fact for those of you who don't know, as I didn't, how this earning money thing works.
First off I write and post to my blog.
I do this because it is my passion, well, one of them,,, and I sincerely love what I do.
Income to me is not generated by my posts, not by the number of readers, the quality of the writing, nor how much I write.
It is not the Dickinson income per word,or, was it page, for him?
Income to me is solely generated as I understand it, by the number of times ads are clicked on and read by the blog reader.
It does not matter if the reader purchases the product, or service...it matters only that he take advantage of the commercial advertisement and reads it.
When this happens a cent or two is generated to the BLOG writer.
So far since my postings began I have generated a whooping 24 cents or so.
Approximately 8 cents per month.!
I am beyond ecstatic over this income.
If more readers click on ads I will be able at the end of this year to buy a sandwich from McDonalds' or Burger King's or Jack IN The Box's or Wendy's dollar menu !!!
Now I DID promised to be honest and keep my readers entertained and informed.
I hope that you appreciate my candor, and keep this statement of fact in mind when reading my blog posts.
It is, after all, just a statement of fact.
This is just a statement of fact for those of you who don't know, as I didn't, how this earning money thing works.
First off I write and post to my blog.
I do this because it is my passion, well, one of them,,, and I sincerely love what I do.
Income to me is not generated by my posts, not by the number of readers, the quality of the writing, nor how much I write.
It is not the Dickinson income per word,or, was it page, for him?
Income to me is solely generated as I understand it, by the number of times ads are clicked on and read by the blog reader.
It does not matter if the reader purchases the product, or service...it matters only that he take advantage of the commercial advertisement and reads it.
When this happens a cent or two is generated to the BLOG writer.
So far since my postings began I have generated a whooping 24 cents or so.
Approximately 8 cents per month.!
I am beyond ecstatic over this income.
If more readers click on ads I will be able at the end of this year to buy a sandwich from McDonalds' or Burger King's or Jack IN The Box's or Wendy's dollar menu !!!
Now I DID promised to be honest and keep my readers entertained and informed.
I hope that you appreciate my candor, and keep this statement of fact in mind when reading my blog posts.
It is, after all, just a statement of fact.
Friday, September 11, 2009
9-11 LET US NOT FORGET
In memory of all those who lost their lives on September 11th, 2001...
and to all those who survived.
I wrote this a few days after that catastrophic event in American history, when I could no longer cry.
I AM A NEW YORKER
I AM A NEW YORKER.
I may not live there now but I was born there.
I AM A NEW YORKER.
I slept as a child to its
streets humming with traffic,
to the clink of the token into the el train turn style.
I heard
Its subways screech
Its cash registers buzz
its church bells ring
Its ferries signal their going out and their coming in
I AM A NEW YORKER.
I looked up at
its neon lights,
its peoples’ worn, determined faces
it trees,
its great Lady in the Harbor,
its skyscrapers standing strong and eminent,
its pigeons perched,
its museums filled with inspiration,
Its theaters filled with tears, and laughter and music and dance
its shop windows filled with magic and promise and wishes.
I AM A NEW YORKER.
I smelled its smoke,
its hot dogs and pretzels,
its chestnuts and gyros,
its pizza and egg rolls,
ts briny river water,
Its factory pollution,
the urine in its stairway corners,
its warm musty subway stations at once both repulsive and comforting.
I AM A NEW YORKER.
I hear its calls now.
I am glued to the news of this nightmare.
With one objective eye I try to make sense of it,
while the other eye is blinded by my tears.
I see it, and I take it in
I see it and I cannot bear to take it in.
I AM A NEW YORKER.
I look at a black smoky abyss in the middle of MY City and my body feels beaten in
Like that empty pit when your lover has left you.
That empty pit that cannot be filled with tears or hugs or reassurances.
I contemplate what may never feel real to me.
I am violated.
As if someone burned down my home with my family in it and I had to watch .
And there was nothing I could do
They lost there lives there.
People just like my self.
People who worked hard everyday to do the right thing,
To kiss their families hello and goodbye,
To pay their bills and hope for something left over for that special celebration.
People who came home every night tired and worn
But who set aside a smile for their husband or wife, or mother ,or dad, or daughter, or son,or lover, or friend.
And then got up the next day and did the same all over again so they could go on making their list of dreams.
I AM A NEW YORKER.
I knew them all so well.
The ones that could not run,or seeing the hopelessness of it,the ones that chose not to try.
The ones who lost there lives there
The heroic firemen,police, and so many more.
They died there.
While I watched,
They died.
I AM A NEW YORKER.
The strength of my city could not save them.
I hear,
I see,
I smell,
I taste,
I feel,
Oh how I feel the pain !
I AM A NEW YORKER.
I AM A CITIZEN OF THAT CITY,
OF THIS GREAT COUNTRY,
OF THIS TROUBLED WORLD.
AND YOU ARE SO WITH ME.
LET US NOT FORGET
9-11- 2001
Let US remember together
As I AM you are,
As you are I AM.
Written by Maria Kelly (copyright)
September 17,2001
and to all those who survived.
I wrote this a few days after that catastrophic event in American history, when I could no longer cry.
I AM A NEW YORKER
I AM A NEW YORKER.
I may not live there now but I was born there.
I AM A NEW YORKER.
I slept as a child to its
streets humming with traffic,
to the clink of the token into the el train turn style.
I heard
Its subways screech
Its cash registers buzz
its church bells ring
Its ferries signal their going out and their coming in
I AM A NEW YORKER.
I looked up at
its neon lights,
its peoples’ worn, determined faces
it trees,
its great Lady in the Harbor,
its skyscrapers standing strong and eminent,
its pigeons perched,
its museums filled with inspiration,
Its theaters filled with tears, and laughter and music and dance
its shop windows filled with magic and promise and wishes.
I AM A NEW YORKER.
I smelled its smoke,
its hot dogs and pretzels,
its chestnuts and gyros,
its pizza and egg rolls,
ts briny river water,
Its factory pollution,
the urine in its stairway corners,
its warm musty subway stations at once both repulsive and comforting.
I AM A NEW YORKER.
I hear its calls now.
I am glued to the news of this nightmare.
With one objective eye I try to make sense of it,
while the other eye is blinded by my tears.
I see it, and I take it in
I see it and I cannot bear to take it in.
I AM A NEW YORKER.
I look at a black smoky abyss in the middle of MY City and my body feels beaten in
Like that empty pit when your lover has left you.
That empty pit that cannot be filled with tears or hugs or reassurances.
I contemplate what may never feel real to me.
I am violated.
As if someone burned down my home with my family in it and I had to watch .
And there was nothing I could do
They lost there lives there.
People just like my self.
People who worked hard everyday to do the right thing,
To kiss their families hello and goodbye,
To pay their bills and hope for something left over for that special celebration.
People who came home every night tired and worn
But who set aside a smile for their husband or wife, or mother ,or dad, or daughter, or son,or lover, or friend.
And then got up the next day and did the same all over again so they could go on making their list of dreams.
I AM A NEW YORKER.
I knew them all so well.
The ones that could not run,or seeing the hopelessness of it,the ones that chose not to try.
The ones who lost there lives there
The heroic firemen,police, and so many more.
They died there.
While I watched,
They died.
I AM A NEW YORKER.
The strength of my city could not save them.
I hear,
I see,
I smell,
I taste,
I feel,
Oh how I feel the pain !
I AM A NEW YORKER.
I AM A CITIZEN OF THAT CITY,
OF THIS GREAT COUNTRY,
OF THIS TROUBLED WORLD.
AND YOU ARE SO WITH ME.
LET US NOT FORGET
9-11- 2001
Let US remember together
As I AM you are,
As you are I AM.
Written by Maria Kelly (copyright)
September 17,2001
Saturday, September 5, 2009
True ADULT CONTENT
I had originally intended to continue with the Ugly Truth topic, or perhaps to share some stories of Ghosts of Lovers past... but I find myself this week preoccupied with a more intense ruminations in my brain.
So here I go putting my heart out on my sleeve in a way. Without too many particulars. Here's the thing... This blog is ADULT CONTENT, right? Well you can't get more Adult Content then when you speak of feelings, heart felt emotions.
Now that is scary shit!
There are a million things written about love. I have already mentioned somewhere here my favorite... "Love does not exist...Only demonstrations of Love... " Cocteau.
I have come to truly believe this. You and I, whoever and wherever you are, have all heard the WORDS and then have had someone the object of our affections FAIL TO FOLLOW THROUGH.
In fact sometimes they not only fail to follow through they go above and beyond the point of disappointing behavior everything from not listening, not responding, not being there, not being considerate, compassionate, understanding or rational.
In my case, in my past, when I picked "winner" mates they were either addicts or had serious and I mean serious social/mental issues. I have been classically co-dependent.
Now suffice it to say that I am a woman and have my own issues that I have needed to confront and grow from in the past.
I was by no means perfect.But I was never MEAN. I was never UNFAITHFUL when in a committed relationship and I was never violent,well except when I was defending myself from my spouse who was a lot larger in stature and a lot stronger.
I confess to believing that I could change the person I married. To being so immature in understanding that you can't fall in love with the ideal man in your head and then project that image on to the man you have chosen who is is a couple of words... "the bad boy."
But I am wiser now.
At one time I was proud that I was a virgin until I was 20. That I had until I relocated to Arizona 19 years ago only slept with three men...two of them my husbands.
Then I was I proud that I had slept with more men then I could count on one and,ahh,,two hands,,, umm two hand and toes...well, you get it! I made up for my naivete and inexperience in a fit of angry,,,, a "a somehow I'll get even approach" and "I'll find out what this is all about..I'll find out why a man can do it," I'll be the one who steps away rather then the one who is abandoned, at least abandoned mentally,Spiritually ...left to feel inadequate,never enough, always just average, if that.
So why this confession to you now?
Because Love is adult content!
I am in the midst of realizing that in all these years I have rarely met and dated, and given myself physically to a man who I totally respected. I thought I had. But life is new every day and I have by the most unusual circumstance in the most unusual place met a man who is definitely growing on me as I grow...
Yep still,even now,I find myself growing in understanding of Self and the capability to open oneself up,to be vulnerable and to still feel SAFE.
If you understand what I am saying then you have been fortunate, because you have found a real and profound love. For me there has always been a fulfillment in the getting to know and knowing the other person, but there has been a true disconnect when it came to that first and most important of all things in love:Respect,Trust,a blossoming friendship of depth and the wonder of quality of another person's values and Spirit,first before the sexual... It scares me beyond belief...and feels both intriguing and more stimulating then physical foreplay.
I know I am being very general here and you very much want all the juicy details of who,what, why,where, how.
I apologize.
I have had a deep relationship in the past with a world famous Rock Star and would protect him because of his fame and notoriety. Yet now this "everyday man" who is the object of my affection from afar is the one I choose to keep privately in my heart for now. If and when our friendship becomes more I will share more.
For now,I can only say that I am enamoured for a man who first caught my eye, then kept my interest through his personality and has begun to steal my heart because of the depth of his Spirit.
If this friendship stays a friendship and deepens only in that, I will be blessed beyond my wildest dreams.
If the friendship has a capacity to grow into a physical bond as well, my words will be gushing off these pages, and my heart will be filled beyond description.
I didn't think that I believed in love anymore. I was always in control...out of fear...out of past hurts. Now I find myself sitting across from a man whose eyes like the ocean lift all my trouble and worries,,, make me feel completely serene, and believing in my Self and all I can be just because of the way he looks at me.
My friends, some, at least, think I will be hurt. And God knows risking love can always bring hurt. It is a matter of weighing the risk, and my Spirit as much as my heart have already weighed in on this, my Ocean man. In the middle of the desert, in a hot, hot, summer I have come to realize that what is important to me is Joy and Purity of Spirit that which he shares with me.
And as I delight in this fantasy that has already moved toward something I never dreamed, I know this:
"Occasionally in life there are those moments of unutterable
fulfillment which cannot be completely explained by those symbols
called words. Their meanings can only be articulated by the inaudible
language of the heart." - Martin Luther King Jr.
And that my friends is about as ADULT in content as you can get... and it has nothing to do with sex!...Life is so GOOD!
So here I go putting my heart out on my sleeve in a way. Without too many particulars. Here's the thing... This blog is ADULT CONTENT, right? Well you can't get more Adult Content then when you speak of feelings, heart felt emotions.
Now that is scary shit!
There are a million things written about love. I have already mentioned somewhere here my favorite... "Love does not exist...Only demonstrations of Love... " Cocteau.
I have come to truly believe this. You and I, whoever and wherever you are, have all heard the WORDS and then have had someone the object of our affections FAIL TO FOLLOW THROUGH.
In fact sometimes they not only fail to follow through they go above and beyond the point of disappointing behavior everything from not listening, not responding, not being there, not being considerate, compassionate, understanding or rational.
In my case, in my past, when I picked "winner" mates they were either addicts or had serious and I mean serious social/mental issues. I have been classically co-dependent.
Now suffice it to say that I am a woman and have my own issues that I have needed to confront and grow from in the past.
I was by no means perfect.But I was never MEAN. I was never UNFAITHFUL when in a committed relationship and I was never violent,well except when I was defending myself from my spouse who was a lot larger in stature and a lot stronger.
I confess to believing that I could change the person I married. To being so immature in understanding that you can't fall in love with the ideal man in your head and then project that image on to the man you have chosen who is is a couple of words... "the bad boy."
But I am wiser now.
At one time I was proud that I was a virgin until I was 20. That I had until I relocated to Arizona 19 years ago only slept with three men...two of them my husbands.
Then I was I proud that I had slept with more men then I could count on one and,ahh,,two hands,,, umm two hand and toes...well, you get it! I made up for my naivete and inexperience in a fit of angry,,,, a "a somehow I'll get even approach" and "I'll find out what this is all about..I'll find out why a man can do it," I'll be the one who steps away rather then the one who is abandoned, at least abandoned mentally,Spiritually ...left to feel inadequate,never enough, always just average, if that.
So why this confession to you now?
Because Love is adult content!
I am in the midst of realizing that in all these years I have rarely met and dated, and given myself physically to a man who I totally respected. I thought I had. But life is new every day and I have by the most unusual circumstance in the most unusual place met a man who is definitely growing on me as I grow...
Yep still,even now,I find myself growing in understanding of Self and the capability to open oneself up,to be vulnerable and to still feel SAFE.
If you understand what I am saying then you have been fortunate, because you have found a real and profound love. For me there has always been a fulfillment in the getting to know and knowing the other person, but there has been a true disconnect when it came to that first and most important of all things in love:Respect,Trust,a blossoming friendship of depth and the wonder of quality of another person's values and Spirit,first before the sexual... It scares me beyond belief...and feels both intriguing and more stimulating then physical foreplay.
I know I am being very general here and you very much want all the juicy details of who,what, why,where, how.
I apologize.
I have had a deep relationship in the past with a world famous Rock Star and would protect him because of his fame and notoriety. Yet now this "everyday man" who is the object of my affection from afar is the one I choose to keep privately in my heart for now. If and when our friendship becomes more I will share more.
For now,I can only say that I am enamoured for a man who first caught my eye, then kept my interest through his personality and has begun to steal my heart because of the depth of his Spirit.
If this friendship stays a friendship and deepens only in that, I will be blessed beyond my wildest dreams.
If the friendship has a capacity to grow into a physical bond as well, my words will be gushing off these pages, and my heart will be filled beyond description.
I didn't think that I believed in love anymore. I was always in control...out of fear...out of past hurts. Now I find myself sitting across from a man whose eyes like the ocean lift all my trouble and worries,,, make me feel completely serene, and believing in my Self and all I can be just because of the way he looks at me.
My friends, some, at least, think I will be hurt. And God knows risking love can always bring hurt. It is a matter of weighing the risk, and my Spirit as much as my heart have already weighed in on this, my Ocean man. In the middle of the desert, in a hot, hot, summer I have come to realize that what is important to me is Joy and Purity of Spirit that which he shares with me.
And as I delight in this fantasy that has already moved toward something I never dreamed, I know this:
"Occasionally in life there are those moments of unutterable
fulfillment which cannot be completely explained by those symbols
called words. Their meanings can only be articulated by the inaudible
language of the heart." - Martin Luther King Jr.
And that my friends is about as ADULT in content as you can get... and it has nothing to do with sex!...Life is so GOOD!
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
What Is The UGLY TRUTH, Anyway?
I admit I have borrowed this "Ugly Truth" phrase from a recent romantic comedy movie that I have not yet seen. I watched the movie trailers with interest. I think every woman has her own idea about what it is that men are really like, and what they like and look for in a woman.
My purpose though has always been to empower women to be true to SELF and to do what feels good,whatever is fulfilling,satisfying to them.
Besides these myths,rules, standards go on ad nauseum ... and really continue to proliferate through the media circus on the tabloids at the check out counter in grocery stores.
We really do need to sort some of this stuff through and get our thinking straight.
That said, in my own personal experience, I have come to believe some of the gender urban myths or truths, depending on how you look at it, that were set forth in this movie and whispered from mother to daughter, sister to sister, friend to friend through out history.
Let's begin with the most obvious:
1) Men like women whose body type appeals to them.
Now most people would say that you have to be thinner to appear pleasing to a man.
However, I have seen as you have, I am sure, men who are with heavier women whose beauty is more Botticelli then Mondrian.
Fuller figures sometimes turn a man on.
I have to admit when a man points out my larger bum I am not altogether flattered as I have been brainwashed that no one would love me unless I was thin and fit. My mother often pointed out that my TWIGGY-like figure in my 20's was a good thing though the boys in my neighborhood often told me to eat more pasta so they would have something to hold on to.
I can't say that I have ever been happy with the way I look. For the most part I think that some days I look OK, other days I'm hopelessly unattractive, and some days I believe, if I just exude confidence, and keep smiling, and flirt in the way I have learned to love to flirt, I can go home with just about any one... well, especially if he has had a drink or two.
Recently a physical trainer who was very fit,told me he liked my big boobs and big butt. I'm not
sure he was all that sincere, but I have found that Black men, and some Italian men seem to appreciate my thickness and ample features.
In my defense I can honestly say that once I am body to body with a man, he is not disappointed. I just happen to enjoy sex, but of course that's one of the reasons I chose to write this blog.
Point is: Don't worry about your size!. There are men out there who will want you. Not every man wants a TROPHY.
But the Ugly Truth Is that sometimes you will not always be the desired body shape of the man YOU are attracted to.
Let him go.
There is someone else waiting for YOU just the way YOU are.
Oh yeah and as far as the waist to hip ratio and golden formula for symmetrical facial features,,, these are proven facts through varying cultures... Fortunately though not too many perfect ratios and symmetrical features exist, and as far as I have heard most world cultures are all still reproducing. SO no need for concern.
2)Men like longer hair ... so they have something to grab on to. ...eh hem...
Yeah I want something I can grab too, and have settled just a few times for a deficit,,, and I'm not talking about hair.!
I do think that most men if surveyed would prefer a shoulder length or longer hairdo... but then so would they prefer or at least as proven over and over, stop to assist a blond and/or a redhead over a brunette. It is what it is.
I am a brunette. I did go blond once, much to my daughters' chagrin and looking back at the pictures I was a bit brash looking,but I did get a lot more attention as a blond and I did have more fun.
Now, with a best friend who is a natural redhead, I often endure the "overlook" as men walk over me without notice to get to her. She is in all ways lovely, and is more petite then myself, also a plus to men. To be quite frank, she, being from the Midwest and, myself,from New York City the contrast in personalities is stark. She seems almost always nice, and sometimes overly polite, where I, in true New York City fashion, tell it like I see it, and don't take any shit without giving it right back.
But back to the subject of hair, length and color these factors do seem to attract men but does that keep a man?
There are men who get turned on by the "butch" look, the Demi More in GI Jane image.
So once again I have to advise... Do to your hair in whatever way it makes YOU feel more attractive.
If purple hair shaved on one side is your gig, then go there. Some guy is looking just for you.
3) Men prefer women who wear heels with polished toes and the higher the heels the better.Some prefer closed toes, others prefer the sassy, strappy sandal type.
Stripper shoes, with seven inch clear heels, are,of course, erotica at its best to a man.
Sorry but I do believe there is no arguing this one.
Even shorter men, who seem to always have some sort of "issues" ..Napoleon or otherwise... like heels.
Wear only heels to bed, and a man will be putty in your hands... OOPS! Bad analogy not putty!! ... rock hard in your hands,,, and wherever else you put it.
4) And on the subject of low cut tops and ample breasts: Whatever you've got show them off a bit, subtly or overtly men are just freaking fascinated with BOOBS, TITS... whatever else they might call them... they are ridiculous about it!
A man will talk to your chest, suckle at it for hours, and have the need to touch and fondle it whenever there is no one looking or even sometimes when someone is. It is just the most inexplicable thing to me that men find this part of a woman's anatomy so fascinating.
Having worked in an AIDS clinic with gay patients and co workers I can tell you that even gay men will admire ( if from a distance) a woman's breasts.
Cross dressers and transvestites spend hours on choosing the appropriate undergarments to make their breasts look supple and perky.
And so it is... Whether small or large,,, and I mean small and I mean LARGE, men just can't seem to get enough of boobs..even if they proclaim themselves to be "ass" men.
Nope, in my opinion, they are lookin' and they are talkin' and they are lookin' again...
I have more then once reminded a man that my eyes were on my face so that they would stop staring at my chest. But I do love it... Why?
Before my children were born, I was a a smaller woman, I was thin and I was a 32 A.
Although I did not breast feed, my size grew during pregnancy and never went down. With my first daughter I became a 34 C and with my second a 36 DD which then went back to a 36D.
I can tell you that I walked around in NYC in the winter with my coat open when I realized the attention this new growth of my chest was getting from male friends and total strangers alike.
My second husband talked of my breasts as if they had their own persona.
And quite honestly the attention they received from him had me cum every time without penetration or other foreplay. Sensitive nipples are a plus and any man I have spent any time with has come to learn, some really astute men rather quickly, that if you touch my left nipple I am "yours", and I am lovin' it.! ;-)
So wear that cleavage... push those puppies up,,, make "the girls" happy and you will be happy too if you want any man's attention.
Now on this issue I cannot speak for lesbians. My lesbian daughter hasn't weighed in on this,but my lesbian friends seem, too,to appreciate the beautiful roundness of a woman's figure.
Let's face it... unless "DAVID"like, the male body is nowhere near as pleasing to look at as a woman's body. The "god like" man may have wash board abs,V physique, chiseled face,tight buns,muscular arms and legs with a great penis, and that certainly is a GIFT.!
But the average man's body has a way to go before it meets the pleasantry of the average woman's body.
If there is a God and if he made Adam and Eve, he saved perfection for the second of his creations. Even God needed to practice a bit first before getting out the better version.
To be continued....
My purpose though has always been to empower women to be true to SELF and to do what feels good,whatever is fulfilling,satisfying to them.
Besides these myths,rules, standards go on ad nauseum ... and really continue to proliferate through the media circus on the tabloids at the check out counter in grocery stores.
We really do need to sort some of this stuff through and get our thinking straight.
That said, in my own personal experience, I have come to believe some of the gender urban myths or truths, depending on how you look at it, that were set forth in this movie and whispered from mother to daughter, sister to sister, friend to friend through out history.
Let's begin with the most obvious:
1) Men like women whose body type appeals to them.
Now most people would say that you have to be thinner to appear pleasing to a man.
However, I have seen as you have, I am sure, men who are with heavier women whose beauty is more Botticelli then Mondrian.
Fuller figures sometimes turn a man on.
I have to admit when a man points out my larger bum I am not altogether flattered as I have been brainwashed that no one would love me unless I was thin and fit. My mother often pointed out that my TWIGGY-like figure in my 20's was a good thing though the boys in my neighborhood often told me to eat more pasta so they would have something to hold on to.
I can't say that I have ever been happy with the way I look. For the most part I think that some days I look OK, other days I'm hopelessly unattractive, and some days I believe, if I just exude confidence, and keep smiling, and flirt in the way I have learned to love to flirt, I can go home with just about any one... well, especially if he has had a drink or two.
Recently a physical trainer who was very fit,told me he liked my big boobs and big butt. I'm not
sure he was all that sincere, but I have found that Black men, and some Italian men seem to appreciate my thickness and ample features.
In my defense I can honestly say that once I am body to body with a man, he is not disappointed. I just happen to enjoy sex, but of course that's one of the reasons I chose to write this blog.
Point is: Don't worry about your size!. There are men out there who will want you. Not every man wants a TROPHY.
But the Ugly Truth Is that sometimes you will not always be the desired body shape of the man YOU are attracted to.
Let him go.
There is someone else waiting for YOU just the way YOU are.
Oh yeah and as far as the waist to hip ratio and golden formula for symmetrical facial features,,, these are proven facts through varying cultures... Fortunately though not too many perfect ratios and symmetrical features exist, and as far as I have heard most world cultures are all still reproducing. SO no need for concern.
2)Men like longer hair ... so they have something to grab on to. ...eh hem...
Yeah I want something I can grab too, and have settled just a few times for a deficit,,, and I'm not talking about hair.!
I do think that most men if surveyed would prefer a shoulder length or longer hairdo... but then so would they prefer or at least as proven over and over, stop to assist a blond and/or a redhead over a brunette. It is what it is.
I am a brunette. I did go blond once, much to my daughters' chagrin and looking back at the pictures I was a bit brash looking,but I did get a lot more attention as a blond and I did have more fun.
Now, with a best friend who is a natural redhead, I often endure the "overlook" as men walk over me without notice to get to her. She is in all ways lovely, and is more petite then myself, also a plus to men. To be quite frank, she, being from the Midwest and, myself,from New York City the contrast in personalities is stark. She seems almost always nice, and sometimes overly polite, where I, in true New York City fashion, tell it like I see it, and don't take any shit without giving it right back.
But back to the subject of hair, length and color these factors do seem to attract men but does that keep a man?
There are men who get turned on by the "butch" look, the Demi More in GI Jane image.
So once again I have to advise... Do to your hair in whatever way it makes YOU feel more attractive.
If purple hair shaved on one side is your gig, then go there. Some guy is looking just for you.
3) Men prefer women who wear heels with polished toes and the higher the heels the better.Some prefer closed toes, others prefer the sassy, strappy sandal type.
Stripper shoes, with seven inch clear heels, are,of course, erotica at its best to a man.
Sorry but I do believe there is no arguing this one.
Even shorter men, who seem to always have some sort of "issues" ..Napoleon or otherwise... like heels.
Wear only heels to bed, and a man will be putty in your hands... OOPS! Bad analogy not putty!! ... rock hard in your hands,,, and wherever else you put it.
4) And on the subject of low cut tops and ample breasts: Whatever you've got show them off a bit, subtly or overtly men are just freaking fascinated with BOOBS, TITS... whatever else they might call them... they are ridiculous about it!
A man will talk to your chest, suckle at it for hours, and have the need to touch and fondle it whenever there is no one looking or even sometimes when someone is. It is just the most inexplicable thing to me that men find this part of a woman's anatomy so fascinating.
Having worked in an AIDS clinic with gay patients and co workers I can tell you that even gay men will admire ( if from a distance) a woman's breasts.
Cross dressers and transvestites spend hours on choosing the appropriate undergarments to make their breasts look supple and perky.
And so it is... Whether small or large,,, and I mean small and I mean LARGE, men just can't seem to get enough of boobs..even if they proclaim themselves to be "ass" men.
Nope, in my opinion, they are lookin' and they are talkin' and they are lookin' again...
I have more then once reminded a man that my eyes were on my face so that they would stop staring at my chest. But I do love it... Why?
Before my children were born, I was a a smaller woman, I was thin and I was a 32 A.
Although I did not breast feed, my size grew during pregnancy and never went down. With my first daughter I became a 34 C and with my second a 36 DD which then went back to a 36D.
I can tell you that I walked around in NYC in the winter with my coat open when I realized the attention this new growth of my chest was getting from male friends and total strangers alike.
My second husband talked of my breasts as if they had their own persona.
And quite honestly the attention they received from him had me cum every time without penetration or other foreplay. Sensitive nipples are a plus and any man I have spent any time with has come to learn, some really astute men rather quickly, that if you touch my left nipple I am "yours", and I am lovin' it.! ;-)
So wear that cleavage... push those puppies up,,, make "the girls" happy and you will be happy too if you want any man's attention.
Now on this issue I cannot speak for lesbians. My lesbian daughter hasn't weighed in on this,but my lesbian friends seem, too,to appreciate the beautiful roundness of a woman's figure.
Let's face it... unless "DAVID"like, the male body is nowhere near as pleasing to look at as a woman's body. The "god like" man may have wash board abs,V physique, chiseled face,tight buns,muscular arms and legs with a great penis, and that certainly is a GIFT.!
But the average man's body has a way to go before it meets the pleasantry of the average woman's body.
If there is a God and if he made Adam and Eve, he saved perfection for the second of his creations. Even God needed to practice a bit first before getting out the better version.
To be continued....
Thursday, August 20, 2009
LOVE and OTHER ODDITIES
I have been silent a bit.
Processing some feelings.... no, really. I find myself having to admit that my passive/aggressive interest in a fantasy man is keeping me thinking.
If you are a follower please grant me this moment while I figure out if the download in my brain is worth describing to you in detail.
I will tell you this for now.
I have never believed in love at first sight or at least never had that experience... strong attraction, yes... So this strong attraction has lasted over a year, and I, now, devoid of and getting bored of the same 'ole scene am looking into being honest with myself, if that is possible while still fantasizing about someone.
I have no shame in this feeling,,, even my openness about it. But it is a puzzlement to me and is sometimes uncomfortable or, perhaps, unfamiliar is the thing.
At any age, at any time can we fall in love ? Having been there, done that... can it still feel new?.. but amazingly and inexplicitly different in a good way. Better because I know myself,now, and have faith in myself that no matter what happens, I will be OK because I always have been.
Life/ Love is a PUZZLEMENT.
Thank you in advance for your patience while I see if this fantasy will become a reality at least in brief... and perhaps more importantly if I will allow it to.
Perhaps this is the time when, whatever happens, I question...
DO I have the Brain, the Heart and the COURAGE to jump and fall one more time?
Hmmmm. Even writing it seems foolish. Am I too far gone for foolish?
LIFE IS GOOD ! In the meantime enjoy the thought provoking read on another very different topic below.
Processing some feelings.... no, really. I find myself having to admit that my passive/aggressive interest in a fantasy man is keeping me thinking.
If you are a follower please grant me this moment while I figure out if the download in my brain is worth describing to you in detail.
I will tell you this for now.
I have never believed in love at first sight or at least never had that experience... strong attraction, yes... So this strong attraction has lasted over a year, and I, now, devoid of and getting bored of the same 'ole scene am looking into being honest with myself, if that is possible while still fantasizing about someone.
I have no shame in this feeling,,, even my openness about it. But it is a puzzlement to me and is sometimes uncomfortable or, perhaps, unfamiliar is the thing.
At any age, at any time can we fall in love ? Having been there, done that... can it still feel new?.. but amazingly and inexplicitly different in a good way. Better because I know myself,now, and have faith in myself that no matter what happens, I will be OK because I always have been.
Life/ Love is a PUZZLEMENT.
Thank you in advance for your patience while I see if this fantasy will become a reality at least in brief... and perhaps more importantly if I will allow it to.
Perhaps this is the time when, whatever happens, I question...
DO I have the Brain, the Heart and the COURAGE to jump and fall one more time?
Hmmmm. Even writing it seems foolish. Am I too far gone for foolish?
LIFE IS GOOD ! In the meantime enjoy the thought provoking read on another very different topic below.
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