The FLAWLESS BODY /SEX IN THE MIRROR

I have found myself of late posting lengthy entries to my Facebook page. Political commentaries, baseball notes and updates, my daily nebulous thoughts... It all really is rather meaningless as you know. I don't remember how I got talked into Facebook anyway. Posting regularly leaves yourself open to others scrutiny... because they have had a day when they have nothing better to do then peer into your life and weigh in on yours or at least my "stream of consciousness" comments.
I really don't expect people to take me seriously as even as I write the things, my mind is changing about what I am saying. Perhaps I am not normal. Perhaps I am a bit schizophrenic. I, of course, like to think that I am just a sample of the ordinary woman, with perhaps more time on my hands then some, or at least when having time chooses rather then to shop or garden or watch television or read or gossip about the neighbors heads to my laptop or to my wonderful IPHONE to immortalize a thought.lol
Yes,I have become a Facebook addict.

Now this blog is to be about my sex life which I do not post on Facebook so let me go ahead and be consistent so as not to disappoint.

I did last October enjoy the company of a young man and that went well. Actually it was quite comfortable,not unforgettable but to be frank,we were both pretty toasted from an OKTOBERFEST Celebration. It was in fact simply fun.

Soon after that I had moved to another neighboring city to live with a sweet,and dear man who I adored and still do in a much different way.
I have to say that he was the one man who, in living together, had every opportunity to disappoint but never did. He came with a bonus package of an adorable son, who was impossible not to love. But, alas, seeing that this love of mine for this great guy was not going to go where I would have liked it to go, ( not really sure where that was but would have known it had anything unfolded), I moved back into my own home.

I am wise enough to know that at this point in my life, there are few really surprising let downs, there is only LIFE as it unfolds, and Plan B is always an option.
So PLAN B being what it was to simply stay friends and move out rather then fall deeply into unrequited love, yes, I chose Plan B.

And since then some health issues slowed me down. Some reevaluating and self growth took place and after a commitment to celibacy, I broke down in MAY into the arms of a man who lived in FANTASY LAND mentally. I was immediately aware of this, but hot and horny as one woman can get after a long stint of celibacy I caved. I found myself in bed with the man who collected interesting artifacts displayed throughout his home, two planes (real ones) at the local airport that no longer could fly, and a mirror over his bed.

I had never had the mirror over the bed experience. I had had the mirrors around the room thing, but never the mirror over the bed.
You know the ceiling mirror has its advantages.
Even when you are naked and in the throws of all kind of positions that ceiling mirror is smiling down like the sun reflecting the candle light and making you look pretty damn good, if I do say so myself. Now please know I am the most critical of critical when it comes to my naked body and no lights or soft, soft lights is my preference, but for some reason that ceiling mirror is amazing !
Flashes of flesh and after a while I am thinking, "Oh OK, this is what men see that women do not."
Once we get our clothes off and that close to the actual act, they see these flashes of beautiful, voluptuous, heated passionate body parts. WOW ! Who ever knew?!

I really could not have seen it before this. We actually do look pretty hot.
It was a definite eye opener.
Though, I chose this to be only a one night stand I will forever remember that.

As my friend who I lived with just recently said,"We men don't see what you women see when those clothes are coming off." as he shook his head in disbelief as we women were discussing being self critical and self conscious.

What a REVELATION... it was possible! In that mirror on the ceiling and in their eyes we are outrageous Goddesses of beauty and pleasure.

So my advice is as previously described. Of course be clean,and whenever possible wear the sexy adornments and the pleasant smelling pheromones,,,when getting up to go get that glass of water, or to use the restroom, no need to grab the sheet to cover up, though a soft light from behind you is always most flattering,it is still for us somewhat about the lighting,,, but remember his eyes are not your eyes.
Sing praises for that.
His eyes are more like my friend described,,, oblivious to flaws,,
and remember the eyes of the mirror on the ceiling. I always will.
It is all GOOD... Life IS GOOD !!!

Classes: Get Your Groove Back !

I will be teaching classes in the Phoenix area for women who would like to explore their sensual side, improve their confidence and find or keep the man of their dreams.

See my ad on Craigslist Phoenix under Classes to begin in January. 6 Weeks/ 3 Hours/One Night a Week/
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COCO Before Chanel: The Movie

I watched this movie this evening.
It was a relaxing end to an Easter Day that was somewhat reflective.
There were many good lines in this movie...

"Love is best in Fairy Tales" was one of them.

Now, that is food for thought,isn't it?

We spend our adult lives looking for the right person. We pursue LOVE, a relationship and judge ourselves according to whether or not we "have" a relationship, and how well it is going.
But this question poses a serious consideration.

Is love,True LOVE, Romantic LOVE , the Perfect LOVE with that, at least, almost perfect person, just a fantasy?
Is it just the fodder of fairy tales?

I had always thought not. But I had been blinded by my own perception of the person(s) I chose to love and to love me.

In fairy tales the end is always the happily ever after, isn't it?

It is not, what another line in this movies proposes.
"What does it feel like to be in love?" is the question, and the answer in this movie and perhaps in all of life is: " Love hurts, hurts, hurts."

Of course we know that the feeling of love produces brain chemistry that makes us feel really good,sometimes euphoric BUT love does hurt doesn't it? Because another person can never ever satisfy all our emotional needs,nor should they be expected to.

But expect them to, we do.

We are NOT perfect but we seek perfection in our lovers, and spouses. We expect them always to know what we are thinking, what we need, and,even, to read our minds.
We voice our disappointment when they do not live up to our perception of what I once read is called the,"GIANT SELF."

If they fib to us in an attempt to make themselves more loved and acceptable to us, we accuse them of lying. But who of us has not at least once or twice exaggerated a story just a tweak to make ourselves look better in someone else's eyes.

None of us is perfect, yet we expect perfection.

I am guilty of all of this.
As a woman I have found myself looking for faults in the seemingly "perfect" partner.

If you look for faults in anything in life but especially in the people closest to you, you will find them.
We are harsh judges.
Why is that? When most of our religions teach us to be compassionate, understanding, merciful? Perhaps it is base human nature.
As it is that in beginning stages of any relationship things seem perfect. Even the most hideous of our habits are charming to our new love. With time and familiarity those very same habits become annoyances.

We are strange creatures,human beings. All of this is because even though we are Spiritual beings, we exist in this time and place in human form.
Human form with all its flaws and imperfections.

As a romantic I still have hope that some day someone will love me even with my faults and flaws. That they will over look my foolish exaggerations, they will forgive that I snort when I laugh heartily, and maybe even that I snore.

In this movie, about the earlier years of Coco Chanel, she is determined to never marry.

Coco Chanel never did marry, though she did, as portrayed in this movie, fall in love.
She considered love somewhat of a foolish emotion. Perhaps she was far wiser then myself.

Foolish as it may be, we crave being loved. We desire to be in unity with GOD and with another human being.

We convince ourselves we don't need it, don't want it, but eventually IT is there.

There is a moment when we make a decision to love.
It is my experience that in that moment when we make a subconscious decision to once again return to the neediness of twelve year old little girls, or fifteen year old little boys, we make a decision to trust.

Trust.
Have you thought about the enormity, the power of that one word and concept ???

Yet at some point,outside of the fairy tale,in real life we walk to that cliff and we feel ourselves falling. In that moment of pure insanity we decide to allow ourselves not just to fall off that cliff. In that moment we decide to jump, and in that moment of deciding to jump we hope with all our Faith and with all our TRUST that we will FLY.

But as a sometimes skeptic, just perhaps the other line in this movie that struck me is more accurate. "The most interesting thing about being in love is making love. Too bad you need a guy to do that."

Now,lesbian relationships, aside,,, and please if you are a man insert the word "woman" for the word "guy" in the above sentence. (I'm sure Coco Chanel would not mind.)
Then tell me... IS love best in fairy tales?

I only wish I could be absolutely sure.
I still pursue the reckless abandon of it.

You will probably one day find me, if you haven't already, standing on the edge of that cliff hoping to fly. Part of my human nature deceives me into believing that, apart from all of you who fail in it, I will soar.
My love will be the happily ever after.
And so the folly of this human dilemma.

I wish you all the exuberant joy of that fabulous fall.
I'm only human, after all.
I say,"Go for it!"

Life is so Good.

Become a FOLLOWER !!!

Thanks ALL for your positive comments.
However some of you are having trouble with the comments format.
It's ok. Just click on Become a Follower then select private or public.

It will give me an idea of who you are, and what you like to read here.
It also notifies online publishing sources that might be interested in my writing that I already have "fans."

Thanks.

Make Memories !!!

Life is GOOD !

New Blog: THE WOW FACTOR

http://lifeasiseeithowaboutyou.blogspot.com/2010/03/wow-factor.html

I posted this on my new blog site for now.
It is that "WOW FACTOR" piece I mentioned some time ago.

What is the "WOW FACTOR" and why should you care?!

Click on it or cut and paste in your browser, and Njoy the read.

Thanks
;-)

The Silent Epidemic in American Families

The Tragedy Of Todays American Family:

Everything on the outside looks so together, when really, all that there is, is a semblance of a picture perfect loving unit we call family, when the reality is a unit of strangers living together getting out of the way of each others' fears and hurts.
The silent epidemic of not ever learning how to love,self or others.

What Is The UGLY TRUTH, Anyway? Cont'd

So what is the Ugly Truth anyway?
All those dating myths and rules,the movies and books are unrelenting and I have chosen to continue my exploration into this dilemma.

If you have not read my first entry on this topic, (under the same title Advice 1-4), no matter really. You can go back and read it now or later.
If you are out there in the dating/ social scene it might be helpful to you or perhaps just a bit entertaining.

Like all women I think each day I feel a little differently about things and how I want to present myself to the opposite sex both in the work place and in social situations.

I have to say that one of the most important pieces of advice I can give is:

5) Don't be the wall flower.
Though the quiet wall flower type will attract some men, it just isn't any fun being the quiet one in the corner at the party, is it?

I don't know if I was born with it, sometimes I think that I was, but I have always been a little flirty at least.Not just in the way I dress though that is inevitably a part of it, but also in my demeanor.

Now, don't get me wrong, I did go through many years of uncomfortable awkward shyness. Until finally I was encouraged to come out of my shell by female friends and male friends alike who felt that I was in some ways cute and attractive. I do also have to give credit to my older brother who adored me and encouraged me to join in his parties putting me in the center of the circle of attention as he introduced me as both smart and beautiful.
Amazingly people believed him though I did not.

And so it went that I changed from the shy,inhibited girl to the fun, flirty person I perceive myself to be today.
WHY NOT !? ;-)

When you look around there are certainly ALWAYS women who are more attractive and there are men who appear too delicious to approach. But talk to some of these people and you will find that they are equally as insecure as you are and lovely wonderful people or in some cases that these people are in some ways all about their looks.

All in all no matter how you "think" you look, step forward out of the shadows and make yourself noticeable. SMILE... Listen and speak up when you feel so inclined.

Does this all sound waaaaay toooo oversimplified ???

Think again. Some people think that just by showing up in a crowd they will be swept off their feet by their perfect mate.
And, oh,yes, just go out to have a good time NOT with the intent to meet a mate.

Always, always BE A LITTLE FLIRTY... Talk to someone, look into his/her eyes, really listen to what he/she saying. Look further then the words into the Soul and their Spirit.

Everyone you meet has a story and more then likely it is a story that you can learn from and/or perhaps relate to. So don't just try to act "Kool."
Talk but not a lot. Listen.
Relax.
Take a BREATH.
Believe that you are UNIQUE, because YOU ARE !
And move into the social scene with a little burst of enthusiasm...
BE SASSY.
Be a little flirty !
But

6) Don't be too sexually aggressive.
We have all seen women in clubs who dress so provocatively that they are half out of their clothes.
Or the women sitting at the bar who hand over their bras and panties to the bartenders who by the way are the "rock stars" of a good club and often the reason women hang around the bar luring customers to buy them one drink after another. It is all part of the business. Get the women to sit at the bar and the men will follow.
The same principal as "If you build it they will come."

And come they do to the women who act provocatively, even overly sexually aggressive. Men who are drawn in will take you home for the night but they will toss you away in no time. So let me clarify... If you are looking for that one night of fun and frolic, go for it. But if you are going out to have a good time and to meet people of like mind and Spirit, then dress stylishly, dress comfortably for you whatever that is, dress in something that makes you feel confident and outgoing. Show a little skin,but be careful how much you give.

Put your hand on his or her arm or knee but keep it off her breast, or his crotch!

Rejection at this point is uncomfortable for both of you.
Sooner or later there will be a night when you are either the giver or receiver of this type of behavior. At this point you will sometime later either laugh about it or be embarrassed by it or perhaps both.

Just remember, sexual aggression is definitely appropriate in the right place and at the right time. But as the line goes: "GET A ROOM" if you are over come with lust and desire in a public place. PDA's (Public displays of affection) can be HOT... but don't over do it, making everyone else around you uncomfortable.

7) Men love being funny and enjoy when you laugh at their jokes,but women should not be as funny or laugh too loudly.

OK, OK, I hate to admit this one is, in my experience, very true because it goes back to cave man days I think, and seems very chauvinistic. The thing is though I have found it to be true. Men seem to prefer being the limelight. In fact they are somewhat threatened by the woman getting all the attention. Not at first perhaps but as time goes by the funnier, better looking, better dressed woman becomes a drain on the male ego. Men have to have the WOW factor perpetuated in their relationships.(More on the 'WOW' Factor later.) They have to know that they are best, and this includes the funniest!
So laugh at his jokes. Laugh long and hard but not too, too loud. When others are around allow the man to be the center of attention and he will find you all the more attractive for it.

Here's another antiquated piece of advice that is obviously not subscribed to by the Governor of California and his wife.

8) If you have to talk about politics keep an open mind and keep your mouth shut.

Disagreeing politically with someone always seems to get heated and uncomfortable in just a short period of time and ruins any connection between the two of you off track.
Now, to be clear, I am not saying that you should not have a different point of view, I am merely saying don't flaunt it.

Since most men are highly competitive in nature they see argumentative discussions not as an exchange of ideas but as a competitive sport.Since they have a very strong NEED to win in order to feel good about themselves they poise themselves strategically in political and sometimes religious discussions and losing such a situation, pinning his back to the wall, or yours, will make things extremely uncomfortable.

I once spent a great time and night with a very attractive man with whom the chemistry was intense... until I made the mistake of bringing up a presidential candidate whom he opposed. Not only did I sense that his ego was deflated but any further foreplay went limp, so to speak. ;-)

Enjoy the company of a man with opposing political views, but never, never have THAT conversation with him. It changes the chemistry completely and depending on the personalities of you and that man, it can totally ruin your relationship.

More on the "WOW" Factor I mentioned above next time
.
In the meantime, Get out there and NJOY !